Jul 25, 2014

Nothing stops the tears quicker than

making a fool of yourself, and a face plant.   Thanks to all of you that shared your heartbreaking and sometimes uplifting pet stories.  With all the water loss from tears, I expected to drop a pound or two, but those damn frozen Easter chocolates may have replaced the water loss.  It all started when I went into the woods to our private little burial ground to make sure Baby wasn't disturbed by other critters.  And also because I'm a morbid idiot that can't stop crying once I start.  St. Judes' children started it all.  Anyway, on went my ugly green mud boots to the knee to prevent poison ivy and the brier scratches.  Unfortunately, one of them got caught under a downed limb and I went flying, face plant style, into the patch of leaves and ivy.  Except for a large bruise on my shin, I was fine.  Just annoyed at the crows - I swear that caw caw changed to haw haw.  Although my face was smeared with mascara, dirt, and tears, I stupidly walked down to the road crew that was motioning for me to come talk.  They were probably saying "let's see what that wacko wild woman is doing".  I don't have to remind you of the red boot incident and others, and thought I could explain to them about the boots and the face plant, a relatively common occurrence for being in the woods.  What I forgot about and didn't explain, was the fact that when I am painting, I wear my clothes inside out to prevent paint stains.   It was a brief conversation, and on my way back into the house, I reached into my pocket for a clean tissue.  Well guess what?  My pockets weren't there.  My shorts were on inside out with large white lined pockets hanging on the outside, and care instruction tags were flapping from my top.  They love coming down my road.  It gives them something to chuckle about for quite a while.
So move on to the evening and a visit to Sears to check the range we ordered.  My husband is a slow walker and I can outdistance him by a mile in the same amount of time.  I move baby.  My Crocs stuck to the granite floor and face plant #2. 
This time, I replicated an uncoordinated SuperMan move.  Not pretty.  Both my knees hit that granite first and took all the weight with the upper body landing on my shopping bag.  I broke my new Polarized glasses, and never felt pain like that before.  Well, the colonoscopy that I insisted on having without sedation may take the #1 spot.  Three very young good looking men stood there and said "you OK lady?"  Just what you want to see while sprawled on the floor moaning.   My mid back and neck were miserable but no where near the knee pain.  My overprotective husband was scared but eventually, I got up and tried to walk.  It was no SuperMan walk.  I asked if Sears insurance would cover any medical bills or tests IF I decided I needed them.  Well, sorry, no.  Really?  If someone falls on my property I have to pay their medical bills don't I?  Ice ice ice and Advil, but this morning, my knee had three fleshy golf balls and I could put no weight on that leg at all.  ER visit confirmed - yep, that's a lot of swelling!  No breaks, but I need to see an orthopedic for possible tendon or cartilage damage.  I'm hoping the damage is minimal and will not require any surgery.  That would stop the laughing for sure.  I can't help it. I keep laughing about it every time I picture myself airborne between the stoves.  So my leg has an immobilizer brace and I have a cane, chewing Advils.  The doc said it wasn't funny.  I said "you weren't there".  I told you before that I'm weird - I doubt many people laugh about a painful injury. And it does hurt.  Going down the stairs into the basement to retrieve the remaining chocolate is no picnic but worth the suffer.  After the ER we went to McD's for coffee.  Mark opened the door for me and I dropped the cane and assumed the Superman pose.  He cracked up.  It's not that I am forgetting about Baby, but sometimes, laughter is the best medicine. 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
p.s. Just got a call from Sears about an injury report so they will take care of it I'm sure.
 
 

31 comments:

Robin said...

Oh my, Marly! What a time you have had. I am sorry about your falls. Hope there isn't major damage to your knee.

Robin in Virginia

Margaret said...

You are amazing. If I'd taken those falls, I'd just be a miserable person to be around. not you. I love your spirit. I hope you are ok and you don't have to have surgery or anything. I once took a dive when I tripped over my open dishwasher -- right onto my knees, like you. Like you said, second worst pain of my life. Luckily I was ok though. Hope you are too. Hang in there. (I'm still heartbroken over baby too....)

gracie said...

Be assured, all stores carry insurance for falls. Sorry about your mishaps....did you read about my recent fall and decide to copy me???lol

Vera said...

Oh Marly, I am so sorry for your falls (and for Baby). Do take care. I hope you are ok.

Vickie said...

Well, hello pain pal!! Not fun. Sorry your are hurting. Sure hope the swelling goes down quick, with no permanent damage.

C. M. Designs said...

My dear Marly. I will tell you again. I feel your pain, both for the falls and for little Baby..
If you didn't have such a wonderful sense of humor I don't know how you would have come through this past week, visiting the roadmen and your trip to Sears..
I think you are really Superwoman. I hope your injuries won't require surgery. AND I know about colonoscopies.. I was out for mine though.
Please take care of yourself.
Thinking about you !
Charlotte in Virginia

cucki said...

oh dear..i hope you are ok..
big hugs x

Cricket-bug Corner said...

Holy crap! Sit yourself in a soft chair and DO NOT get up! If I lived closer I would bring you chocolate so you didnt'thave to get up for awhile!

Primitive Stars said...

Big Hugs Marly, thank you Francine.

woolwoman said...

I work for a company that owns car dealerships and believe me - if a customer falls on our property - they are always anxious to sue the heck out of us whether it was their fault or not. You should seek a lawyer especially since Sears did make a report of the incidence. Hope you are feeling better now ! Melody

capecodgirl565 said...

Oh my gosh Marly, so sorry to hear of all your misfortunes. Sending prayers your way for quick healing and no serious damage. On the other hand, I beg your forgiveness for laughing uncontrollably while reading of your face plant in the woods and the subsequent inside out clothing story! Keep your great spirit going, thank goodness you possess the ability to laugh at yourself!

Jodi S said...

So sorry to hear about baby. Poor little thing! At least he felt loved! Good grief we need to put you in a bubble! I hope you make out ok with your knees!

Maggee said...

So glad for your sense of humor! If you had NOT put in the bit about sears calling you I was going to rant and rave! I tripped on the uneven streets of Charleston SC, fell, and broke my nose, banged my knees and wrecked my wrists. Because the street was 'historical' I could not sue for medical damages! However I never received a bill... More later... Going to hunt down some chocolate! Hugs!

Rugs and Pugs said...

Marly,
If it wasn't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all.
Hopefully your injuries are not serious.
Hugs :)
Lauren

Earlene L. said...

Geez Marly!!!!! I was shocked and laughing at the same time!
((((Hugs))))
Earlene

Veronica Longobardi said...

I think this week calls for a few pounds of chocolate. Maybe send hubby out to buy you your favorite kind !!!!!!so sorry for all your pain lately. Hugs !

Mouse said...

I shouldn't giggle but you did make me laugh with your sense of humor over the falls and the inside out clothes .... hope you don't have to have surgery ((hugs)))
and crying is good for you its a proven fact ... :) love mouse xxxx

Mouse said...

I shouldn't giggle but you did make me laugh with your sense of humor over the falls and the inside out clothes .... hope you don't have to have surgery ((hugs)))
and crying is good for you its a proven fact ... :) love mouse xxxx

Sue Robinson said...

Oh Marly, you really are one on your own! You had me weeping with you yesterday and more tears today but of a different sort when I read about your latest exploits. Don't ever change .... except perhaps for taking better care of yourself! Love n'hugs from Sue in France.

Sandra Sullivan said...

Hi Marly, I am so glad you are mobile, but I cannot imagine the pain you are having. Hoping for no surgery. I've worn that boot, after a car accident, and it is annoying but it does help. I swear you really missed your calling, you should have been a writer. You could make a fortune and then you could buy all the cross stitch stuff in the world. Feel better soon!

Barb said...

I hate to admit it but you do have me chuckling!!!Truly though, I'm glad nothing is broken!

Ginny said...

Oh, dear. I do hope you heal quickly and with no lasting damage to your knee. Keep laughing - it helps with the pain!

Mary A said...

OMG, Marly! You are right about making a cake of yourself taking your mind off your sorrows... I hope no permanent damage was done. Today I had a long conversation outside with my neighbor all while wearing my shirt inside out (and it was not intentional). RIP, baby.

Jean Bee said...

OMG...I get what you say about laughing at painful things. Your story was terrible and hilarious at the same time. And I'm laughing with you not at you! You have the best sense of humor!! Hope you are fully recovered soon!

LaNelle said...

Marly! Oh my gosh...I cried I laughed but most of all I feel your sense of humor always in life thank you for that! Keeping you in my thoughts & prayers for quick healing. Blessings.....

Barbara Shores ~ Village Folk Art said...

Marly, "you are an accident looking for a place to happen". So sorry and hope you mend quickly. My walk is more of a shuffle these days and usually have enough advance warning of danger ahead.
I am heart broken about poor baby and his/her sufferings. Precious baby is with 'Kody Bear' now ... a MUCH better place.
We have been looking at Corgi puppies and would really like to rescue an adult rather than get a puppy. Time will tell.

Enjoy the day as best as you can. Just keep those chocolates coming,
Peace and Blessings to all, Barb

Bonnie said...

Have to visit your blog each time you have a update. You keep my spirits up. Hope you are feeling better and have plenty of chocolates. So sorry about the kitty he was so adorable mine is older has the same markings.

Frances N said...

OH MY! So sorry to hear about your falls. All of these unpleasant events have earned you a luxury vacation! Sometimes that does an amazing amount of good!!! I do hope you're feeling better.

Karen Martinsen said...

Oh My Gosh Marly....I know it's not funny but you did give me a chuckle reading this and they way you explained it i really could see it all happening...LOL
I too think laughter is the BEST MEDICINE.
Oh your poor leg/knee...I sure hope it gets some good treatments and heals soon. And YES Sears is responsible.

Two weeks ago I was into the painting of our family room when I stepped off the ladder (it has platform steps instead of the little strip steps) and I thought I was stepping off onto the floor of the den but instead it was on the first step UP into the den and took a normal step and flew through the air and landed on my left side and my right hand/fingers slammed into the leg of our love seat and I was wedged between the love seat and a chair on the floor - I hurt so bad I just layed there and moaned and said out loud to myself "am I dead?" Mind you I was alone in the house....I just layed there and cried it hurt so bad and finally knowing I wasn't going to get help or sympathy I got myself up and just sat there holding my right hand. So my friend - you have a double here in Wisconsin!

Karen

Janice C. said...

I fell Thursday nite going into a Hardee's. My GF was with me, I tripped and down I went.Fell on both knees and left elbow. I said get me up before the guys get here. (I had fallen 2yrs ago on the same elbow, went to ER for that one) I had jeans on, so that saved the knees from being scraped bad, just purple, elbow bleeding like crazy, but doing good now. I tripped over a piece of landscaping tubing which was sticking out on the sidewalk, didn't see it at all. I did laugh when I saw yours. LOL Hope your better..Janice

Deb~Paxton Valley Folk Art said...

Oh no Marly, I am so sorry this happened to you! Talk about adding insult to injury. Sending you healing energy and hope you are back on your feet again real soon.

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