Feb 20, 2015

Things I learned today

Don't even attempt shopping without a list.

Always write your list on colored paper.

There are no shoes in size 9 1/4.

Keep your coupons in one place.

Burger King's chocolate chip cookies are fabulous.

McDonald's chocolate chip cookies are good, BK's are better.

Make your list on 8 1/2" x 11" green paper.

Never trust the road to be free of thin invisible ice.

Never attempt shopping without a list.

If you gain weight, you can fill out your bra.

Your bra gain is never noticeable because of your body gain.

Make your list on 8 1/2" x 14" sparkly hot pink paper.

Know where your coupons are.

Jeans do not come in 1/2 sizes, you must move up two points.

Body spillage pushed up by small jeans inhibits breathing.

Never attempt shopping without a list.

Know where your fricking coupons are.

After a haircut, do not lift scissors to hair.

Expect to pay more for an emergency cut.

Accept the holes, dips, and shortness of a repair cut.

Make your lists on 11" x 17" yellow reflective paper.

Buy clothes big enough to hide your body.

Vow to lose weight.

Tantrums and arm flailing are not exercise.

Below zero temperatures take your breath away.

Snow squeaks during extreme cold.

Pack your new big fat clothes that allow breathing.

Fill your Magma with small projects.

Don't forget your scissors.

Do NOT lift scissors to hair.

Pack chocolate.

Don't waste time looking for the fricking list.

Take an Ativan.

Let stitchers know that Nash's heart is on EBay here.




Say goodnight.







30 comments:

Angela Tucker said...

I am so sorry, but your list made me laugh! I agree with every single item except for the BK cookies. And the only reason for that is that there is not a BK within 30 miles of my house. My week has been horrible. My dad lives in my home and has been on Hospice for 20 months. My husband had extensive shoulder surgery on Wednesday and won't be able to help for 8-12 weeks. I'm taking care of baby goats that do not belong to me. I want to crawl in a hole and stay very quiet for a long time. Thank you for a different perspective! I will start a list... LOL

Pam in IL said...

Oh my, that's quite a lot you learned today. Keeping you and Carole in my thoughts and prayers.

Robin said...

You are in my thoughts, Marly!

Robin in Virginia

Barb said...

Your post made me laugh too! Sorry! I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

bayrayschild said...

Loved your list I got a BIG chuckle out of it, Thanks!

The heart is lovely.

Audrey

Mary A said...

Ok, everything on your list was helpful, except the part about the chocolate chip cookies. Please keep such dangerous information to yourself as this kind of info only leads to trouble....

Patti said...

Love your list and agree with every item. I must admit that I snorted with laughter over the tantrum and arm flailing. Good to know!
Blessings, Patti

Nancy M said...

Oh Marly, you made me laugh. You always make me feel normal and I love ya for that. You & your family are in my prayers.

capecodgirl565 said...

I am crushed to hear that tantrums and arm flailing are not considered exercise. I am so very good at that....as well as eating chocolate.

Truus said...

Thanks for your list-will stay to this.. except for the chips because no BK or Mc D in the neighbourhood.
big hug
Truus from Holland

Anonymous said...

OMG I have tears running down my face from laughing. You are just the funniest!! Thank you for the laughs. Roann

Lori from Notforgotten Farm said...

you kill me.
xoxox
L

Lori from Notforgotten Farm said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CJ said...

I assume you had a bad day. I hope today is better for you. I put my shopping list on my phone.

CJ

Vickie said...

I am surprised to learn that you own sparkly hot pink paper. I want some! I just ate a Dove while reading your post. ;)

Margaret said...

Love your list! I need bigger paper for my lists for sure. :D Hang in there. Almost time!

Karen said...

To Miss Angela Tucker, I wish I could help you as certainly you need rest. I have prayed The Lord would send you somebody.
To Miss Marly, I can not help you. I lose lists all the time as my purse is filled with too many to go through and they are almost always the wrong one. I too take the scissors to my hair but fortunately I have so little it doesn't seem to matter except occasionally when I cut the bangs too high. There is no fix for that.

PS: I liked this post. A lot.

C. M. Designs said...

Bless your heart Marly. You're in a "tizzy"..
Prayers for you and Carole all next week and on and on !
Thinking of you !
Hugs, Charlotte in Va.

Maggee said...

Oh how at least I needed a good laugh!! You are something else!! I was sitting here, making a list of things to do when I finally go out today (for the first time in a WEEK!!!!!)... maybe... And I have been tempted many times this week to take the scissors and fix my hair... but I didn't... Oh I will be chuckling all day! Thank you! (I know next week is the week, and have prayed and will pray) Hugs!

Cricket-bug Corner said...

So let me get this straight.... no shopping without a list? Ha! This was a fun post!

gracie said...

I so needed a good chuckle today...thank you...I love lists!

Frances N said...

You are too funny!!!!
However, I can see that all of this is so overwhelming! Hang in there! Many people are rooting for you!!!!

Vera said...

Oh my! No wonder my arms haven't changed...I was sure I was exercising. Oh well. Excellent post Marly! Hang in there...we are all with you in spirit.

rosek1870 said...

Oh dear Marly, I'm sorry you had a tough day! When I stop laughing at you list is Will send you a BIG hug!
Rose

fernday said...

Fabulous; thanks for the laugh.

Monica said...

This sounded serious! Haha. Stop worrying about lists!

Three Sheep Studio said...

You always make me laugh !!!
I'm all about the food, so I'm headed to BK today for a chocolate chip cookie !!
Rose

Mary said...

Hahaha....

Prims and Needles said...

Oh my gosh, I don't know even where to begin, but I am going to simply thank you! I have had a bad year and a half, especially the past week and you made me laugh so hard. I love it and can relate. Again, thank you!!!!

Kay said...

Hilarious!! We have all been there with the haircut. x

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...