Apr 23, 2016

The perilous purse



 
 
A furball with filthy paws checked out the green linen from the kit, and turned his back to it.  Shortly thereafter, that back was flying out of the room.  Will you look at those back feet!!
 
 
In another room, it seems his mother chose the dyed-by-me version and thought it was a comfortable pad to nap on.  A short time later she was napping on her sherpa in the garage. 
 
I chose the Sea Glass, free of cat hair.  I also chose not to grab them since the scratches have finally healed.
 
I haven't had a Kohl's episode of embarrassment in a while but made up for it today.  I changed from a small crossbody bag to a quite large one (of that slippery nylon) and that damn thing was sliding and circling my body like a hyped squirrel.  The bench in the footware department was taken so I opened a shoe box in the aisle, and as I started hopping on one foot while holding onto the shelves with the other, the squirrel purse slid to my front.  As I bent to put on the shoe, the looped elastic on it somehow slipped into the little slot on the squirrel bag's zipper pull which took quite a while to get out.  I shoved the purse to my side and it propelled all the way around ending up on the right side while the wide strap sunk into my throat and cut off my air.  I put the shoe box back and gave the Baggallini life form another shove and as it circled for a landing it came off my neck and slid down over both arms, ending up like an monstrous fanny pack.  Walking down the aisle trying to adjust it back to a tame crossbody, the bag from hell smacked into the open end clearance rack and knocked off several boxes, spilling the shoes.  I bent to pick them up, it slid over my arm to the front and hung from my neck like a feedsack.  I shortened the strap and used it as shoulder bag, which kept sliding off, and wanted to try a pair of comfort shoes.  With my arthritis, try as I did, I could not remove the hard form inside that holds shape. People passing saw me struggling with my hand in a shoe, grunting, making faces ... what did they think I was doing?  I'd had enough and left, remembering I parked near the light post.  That's the second time I set off a car alarm in their parking lot.  Did you know that to the untrained eye, a new Nissan Rogue looks the same from the back as a Ford Escape?   
I came home and husband asked what I had stuck on my pants.  Must have happened during the shoe department ruckus.  I'm glad it didn't have embedded security and set off an alarm. 
I know I was not posting for another week, but by then, the details of this would be forgotten or blown out of proportion.  I tried to tell my sister about my perilous purse, but she kept getting calls and putting me on hold.  So I decided to tell you.
 
Enjoy your weekend.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

23 comments:

Mary A said...

OMG, Marly! Now I have to go and change my pants from laughing so hard! And in my house, cat hair adds texture to all my stitching! It is what it is so why fight it? Whats a few muddy paw prints?? I'm glad they're healthy!

Truus said...

Thanks for telling this story! After cleaning all the mash after a visit of the grandchildren you make me smile again even when there is snow falling outside now.
Greetings Truus from Holland

Truus said...

PS Love the quilt!
Truus

C. M. Designs said...

I really think that you need to write a book, either that, or go on stage with your humorous stories.
Have a happy, peaceful Sunday.
Charlotte in Va.

Marilyn said...

Sometimes those purses are dangerous when you bend over.
That sounds like something that would happen to me.
I was walking into Kohl's one time, didn't see the closed door, (must've been REALLY clean!), smacked right into it and broke my glasses!
Hmmm, same store, maybe neither of us should go to Kohl's. ;)
Marilyn

Lee Morrison said...

OMG Marly, that's hysterical! You are one crazy lady!! You can always make me laugh! Thanks for that.....have a good day!

Maggee said...

I am glad I came by to read your blog... I have a Ford Escape now... uh oh! It's very different from my Town & Country van, and it certainly does resemble a few other cars out there! Your posts are just so entertaining! Love them! Hugs!

Lori from Notforgotten Farm said...

killing me…..thank you for the morning guffaw ~ :)
L

Jacqueline said...

You should submit your daily life to a magazine for publication. You crack me up.

Mary said...

Marly your life is a hoot! Love the stories...I was considering a cross body purse but now I think not. Sounds too dangerous for those of us of mature age.

StitchinByTheLake said...

I believe it might be time to send that purse off to the thrift shop! :) blessings, marlene

Karen Budnick said...

I think you need to keep a roll of "CAUTION" tape with you when you shop - still laughing, Marly!

Dirty Martini Queen said...

OMG that just made my day. I'd be sending that purse off to another wonderful home with someone that appreciates a purse that tries to kill them while they simply want to try on shoes.

Sue Robinson said...

Oh Marly, you do see life!

Primitive Stars said...

Lol, so are such a hoot Marly, love my visits,Blessings Francine.

Barb said...

This story made me smile! Very funny!

Chocolates4Breakfast (Terri Malinovich) said...

Marly, Marly, Marly! The daggum purse
needs to be taught a lesson! Give it away - that'll show it! Then go shopping with a purse that's not trying to kill you!

Glenda said...

OMG you need to do a comic strip with pictures. Thank you so much for sharing your stories. Why we think they are so funny because we can relate so much to your happenings.

Cricket-bug Corner said...

Twice I have walked out of a store to a car and opened the door only to realize it wasnt mine. Only one was the same kind of car - weird! And a little embarrassing - who leaves their car unlocked anyway geez

Pam in IL said...

That purse wouldn't go along with me anymore after that. Actually, I think I'm going to do like my daughters - they don't carry a purse at all anymore. Instead, they have a small leather pocket/wallet just big enough for a driver's license, debit card and a little cash. All the necessities normally carried in a purse are kept in their car.

Carol said...

Ha ha--I'm glad you posted this story before you forgot all the details, Marly :) Thanks for the morning chuckles!

Fran Caswell said...

Thanks for the laugh. I would have loved to have been in the store to see that. : )

Margaret said...

Oh Marly. lolol! My my! I have a Baggalini purse so I know the perils involved. I have another purse -- a sportsac purse -- with similar propensities. I'm using it now but am thinking of switching to a safer purse after reading your story!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...