The 5 am phone call

I took an Ativan last night about 2am to calm down and help me sleep.  So when I was awakened at 5am this morning, my head felt like a watermelon.  She was being transferred to Cleveland Clinic, two hours from here, by her primary care physician.  He had been on a holiday vacation, just got back, and contacted the Clinic when he saw her this morning.  After the mild weather for the last month, today is frigid, windy, with a layer of ice from days of rain beneath a layer of snow.  Mark will take off work tomorrow and drive me there, I will stay at a hotel that has shuttle service to the Clinic.  I understand that area will be getting 5-8" of snow and do not want to be driving myself.  By the time she is admitted, sees a doctor, tests are reviewed, I doubt anything will take place today but if so, he will leave work early and we'll go.  I've done online research every evening and the doctors here seem to have the same conclusion.  Sudden and severe heart failure which is why she is unable to breathe with movement or lying down.  I believe that the torsades incident and being paddled 9 times damaged the heart and it's worsened ever since, even after the drastic AV node ablation that we now know was not necessary. We are cautious in thinking they will be able to help her.  Her tears and fears of dying are making me physically ill, and I need to suck it up.  I may be a bitch but I'm also an emotional wimp, and watching my Dad gasp for air for weeks is being replayed with her. 

 

 Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes.

 

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Edit - she just called.  Her room is better than a hotel, full sofa, two recliners, tables, cupboards, beautiful bath, and I'm invited to sleep on the pull out sofa.  She is very impressed with the nurses and doctor already.