Give me the matches!

Hello.  My name is Marlene and I am a firebug.  I burn papers, wood scraps, sticks, and an occasional little bastard like this....

This started out as a give-away,  Originally, it had green piping trim with this floral fabric back.  Then I decided to do a pouch, then a pocket, now it's a tri-fold pain in my ass.  The piping stayed on during all the changes and when I finally applied it to the front of this, I didn't like it.  Make a long story short - a flash - and I literally ripped the piping off (seam was already trimmed) and ended up with fringe right up to the stitches.  But I figured, it's free, you won't care.  I have wasted days on this.  I tried to throw it out the window but it hit the screen and flew back.  Then there was the fleece incident.  We won't even go there.  But I was determined to hold my patience and continue with alternatives.   The inside has  had (the feathers will be fried by the time you read this) two lined pockets...

 

This is very structured because of the gabardine used on the outside.  Not my style at all.  But I thought, what the hell?  It's free. Now.  The final straw.  Look at what you see when it's first opened ....

See that dark line on the bottom flap?  You know what that is?  It's Heat n Bond Ultra Hold for fabrics.  My fingers are so sore, red, and burned,  from steaming the little bird bastard's edges, that I couldn't get a needle through these fabrics.  My next trip to Jo-Ann will be to purchase that finger protector for ironing.  I decided to use the iron-on tape to hold the final seam shut.  That line you see, is the Heat n Bond glue that came through the fabric.  It's done.  Cooked.  Ready for flame.  In fact, we have a large open spit, a ton of downed limbs and twigs, and I can burn it right in the open instead of a closed barrel.  I need to watch it.  So here's what's next on the aggravation roster.

This is no where near complete.  I have managed to match the flap to the front's design and have the basic shape.  So what's the problem, you ask?  I ordered this fabric online and it's crooked.  The design is slanted terribly and doesn't follow the weave.  I have played with this for a week and think I have it, but the fabric may end up pulling because it's off-grain.  Keep your fingers crossed that this works out and soon.  I am way behind on my sewing plans, STILL haven't stitched, and honestly, this give-away may end up being chocolate.  Store-bought, already wrapped, no seams involved, chocolate.  If it makes it to the post office.