Jun 3, 2011

Give me the matches!

Hello.  My name is Marlene and I am a firebug.  I burn papers, wood scraps, sticks, and an occasional little bastard like this....
This started out as a give-away,  Originally, it had green piping trim with this floral fabric back.  Then I decided to do a pouch, then a pocket, now it's a tri-fold pain in my ass.  The piping stayed on during all the changes and when I finally applied it to the front of this, I didn't like it.  Make a long story short - a flash - and I literally ripped the piping off (seam was already trimmed) and ended up with fringe right up to the stitches.  But I figured, it's free, you won't care.  I have wasted days on this.  I tried to throw it out the window but it hit the screen and flew back.  Then there was the fleece incident.  We won't even go there.  But I was determined to hold my patience and continue with alternatives.   The inside has  had (the feathers will be fried by the time you read this) two lined pockets...
 



















This is very structured because of the gabardine used on the outside.  Not my style at all.  But I thought, what the hell?  It's free. Now.  The final straw.  Look at what you see when it's first opened ....
See that dark line on the bottom flap?  You know what that is?  It's Heat n Bond Ultra Hold for fabrics.  My fingers are so sore, red, and burned,  from steaming the little bird bastard's edges, that I couldn't get a needle through these fabrics.  My next trip to Jo-Ann will be to purchase that finger protector for ironing.  I decided to use the iron-on tape to hold the final seam shut.  That line you see, is the Heat n Bond glue that came through the fabric.  It's done.  Cooked.  Ready for flame.  In fact, we have a large open spit, a ton of downed limbs and twigs, and I can burn it right in the open instead of a closed barrel.  I need to watch it.  So here's what's next on the aggravation roster.


This is no where near complete.  I have managed to match the flap to the front's design and have the basic shape.  So what's the problem, you ask?  I ordered this fabric online and it's crooked.  The design is slanted terribly and doesn't follow the weave.  I have played with this for a week and think I have it, but the fabric may end up pulling because it's off-grain.  Keep your fingers crossed that this works out and soon.  I am way behind on my sewing plans, STILL haven't stitched, and honestly, this give-away may end up being chocolate.  Store-bought, already wrapped, no seams involved, chocolate.  If it makes it to the post office.

12 comments:

Joanie said...

Marly...take a deep breath and repeat after me....It doesn't have to be perfect.

You are too funny! Loved the post. You made me spit diet coke out my nose.

Melissa said...

Oh dear, Marly, you need a big hug! Or maybe a large margarita will do an even better job! We all have those days, but honey, back away from any heat source and any sharp object! lol.

Hope you enjoy your weekend anyway!

Margaret said...

Oh my -- sounds very frustrating! I hate when things like that happen. I do have to say though -- you are so funny! lol! I still love the BBD piece. I can't believe that fabric is printed crooked. Geez! You should complain or something! Hope things go better from now on.

Deb said...

You are a better person than I. I would have set fire to the thing and then run around cackling with glee. But that said, I think that your project looks great and whoever gets it will love it. But Boo on that fabric being off like that.

Glenna said...

You are a firebug! But don't burn the birdie. I too have grappled with mis-printed fabrics though--and had to decide whether to use the straight grain of fabric or whether to adjust and have it hang crookedly--now, that is a no-win. Best to stuff the offending things in a dark closet and take something else out.

Jo Ann said...

take that deep breath and start on Lucy ! She is a peach. Jo Ann

samplerlover said...

Hi Marly, I agree with the other girls - take a deep breath, count to 10 or repeat the first few lines of Hiawatha (I only remember a few lines of that poem lol or I should say that I only remember the first 2 lol so that is no help to you).

I am sure if it is a give away, whoever is lucky enough to win this lovely piece will be absolutely thrilled to have won something that you have taken so much time and energy to make. Even if it has nearly been destroyed.

Isn't that a pain about the material being off the grain. That isn't good. But I quite like what you have done with it.

Have a wonderful weekend - Sandra.

Suzanne said...

I think you are being to harsh on yourself. I think we are most critical of ourselves. These pieces look perfect to me!

Chris said...

Marly! You are making me smile. I know that you are frustrated but really both things look great! I wish I could sew. I think that we are always upper critical of our own work. Cut yourself some slack!

Have a great week!

Bobbie said...

Marly...I just found your blog and you are a hoot!! I am cracking up reading your posts. Your stitching is gorgeous..don't be so hard on yourself I love your profile statement..approaching 60 and wondering where the past 20 years have gone...amen, my friend..amen! I wake up in a blur everyday wondering how the heck I got to be this old!!

Solstitches said...

LOL, what have I been missing in not knowing about this blog.
Thanks so much for the much needed laugh.
I especially loved where you tried to throw the bird out the window and it flew back in :)
Too funny.

Margaret

cucki said...

Aww they are super perfect..don't worry
Hugs x

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