Chuckle

You've probably seen this from a stitcher on FB but in case not, I hope it brings a laugh.

Senior Sex

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having
sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

And another video of a completely different mask style - love it!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDj3DVWK5QU

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A man's opinion

After wasting HOURS on the masks, which is a simple project, I watched Missouri Star Quilts video which made it so much easier.  I was pivoting at corners while positioning the elastic and her method is much better. These are for Matt and my brother so I had Mark test fit them.  He thought the cording would hurt the ear, the wider elastic folded the ear, and the bias tape ties .... the winner.  So comfortable and there is no gapping at the sides.   Only had one package of tape so I used shoe laces for another.  We usually keep them from our worn out shoes for tying tomato plants and such, they worked out to be the easiest and quickest of all.  I cut them in half and sewed into the seam, easy to tie and not as bulky as the tape.

Then Martha was kind enough to send me a link to an alternative tie and I love it!  You're no-reply Martha so I am thanking you here.  She cuts strips from a t-shirt and then stretches them, they roll up!  Great comfort and enough stretch to slip on and off.  Here is the link to her video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UejCpjfbn8&feature=share

It's become the responsibility of schools to feed kids breakfast and lunch, even during summer at which time they can bring two adults for meals.  From the size of some adults and kids, they aren't hurting for food.  My idiotic corrupt school district is using the school bus to deliver the meals daily, other districts have a parent pick up several days of meals at one time.  My neighbor is a teacher that makes over $75000/yr for life, and his wife is the head pharmacist at the hospital.  The live in a massive beautiful home with pool on several acres.  The other neighbor is CEO of a solar company.  And my taxes are paying to feed their kids.  I thought the program helped those that are in need and met financial guidelines.  I guess not.

Have a good day!!

Stay safe.

Sunny Sunday

What are you up to?  I hope to work outside a little, depending on how well the sunglasses work.  I really need to lose this weight so I can bend without losing my breath and have a little more stamina.  Once again, new panties needed in a size up!  The others screamed loud enough for the neighbors to hear.  I haven't left the house since I got sick but may this week since I am much better and will have a mask, and I dread putting on jeans.  They don't scream as loud, more of a moaning since they are stretchy.  Carole can't get an order through to Walmart for pickup, they are just so booked for two days in advance and additional days are not offered.  We will have to do her shopping.  They are limiting the number of shoppers in the store and when I heard that I pictured the older shoppers I always see, bent over, barely walking, that will be standing outside in line.  I have never seen these older folks in sloppy clothes, the men and women both are dressed so neat and nice.  Compared to the younger with pajama bottoms, slippers, and hoodies that need washed.

  Whenever I am ill and my immune system kicks in, it also exasperates the Sjogren's.  So my lips are horrible, my tongue is again full of tiny splits, and I can't take any light.  I never had curtains in this room but the sun reflects off the wood floor and I can't even be in the room.  So I grabbed my osnaburg and without even ironing, hung these makeshift whatever-they-are to control the angle.  I guess I will need to get some sort of blind here or make my own roman shades.

The boys are enjoying the warmer weather.  Poor Petey is still trying his best.  He and Bud will raise one paw ready to smack when they get too close, I guess prepared for the unknown.  But Missy is running up to Petey and whacking his face like a high speed boxer.  For no reason other than she is a little bitch.  She could be thirty feet away!

Just in case it's been on your mind and bothering you to not know, here's my new knobs on the new paint.  Feel better?

Also today I am making masks.  Since elastic is no where to be found (unless you want a shipment from China in May) I am using what I have.  A narrow cording which can easily slip through the seam.  So I double knotted and applied E6000 to them.  They are hanging through my favorite paint stir drying.  I found out that my nephew's son who works at a juvenile center for offenders or problem kids, was not provided any protection and he was told to go to Walmart and buy the drinks for the boys every day.  He is of course reimbursed, but that is not his minimum wage job responsibility.  It never was before.  The boys don't leave the building, but Matt has two little ones at home and can be bringing in the virus to the school.  So I'm making a few masks for him. 

 I wish he would leave there and get a better paying job, but he is so involved with listening to these kids and their stories.  The majority don't even have a parent come to visit or take them home for a holiday.  Probably why most of them act out in the first place.  Very sad, but they write Matt notes thanking him for listening and caring and although the employee turnaround is very high, he just doesn't want to leave them.

Thanks for the suggestions on the white thread.  Since my eyes have flared up I can't stitch, even though the Dazor light is low and not eye level, I can't look at the lighted stitching.  So if you do the white last, it will be pulled through the red over and over until the length is gone, picking up more and more red fiber.  But I can see the benefit the opposite way too.  My plan is to stitch the red up to the white row, stitch the white, and then continue on the other side of the white with the red.  A little of both methods I guess but since I am confused, that's as good as it gets!!

Have a nice day folks.  Stay safe!

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Your help please!

Ready for the house!  There are outlines of off white throughout, so what do you recommend?   Stitching white first - you pull the red through the white. Stitching white last, you pull the white through the red!  Either way, if any tiny fibers from the red will deposit on the white, there is no way to get around it.  Does it really matter?  I remember (or obviously don't) reading about the correct sequence when using white in a design.  Tell me about it please!

 Or is that an assumption and tiny fibers don't adhere?  There does seem to be some top fuzz if you look closely at the stitches.  Would waxing make them less likely to release, or more likely to stick to the adjoining stitch when pulled through?  Yes I know I'm overthinking this and I usually don't give a bird's beak about the proper method, but I would prefer these single rows of light in a sea of red not turn pink.  Sorry Vickie.  So what say you?

Mark is out getting a few things and I am getting really nervous about being anywhere.  I saw photos of the affected people, hospital rooms, patients being administered care, and it brought back how my father suffered and gasped for air for weeks.  If everyone shut their mouth, pinched their nose, and tried to breathe for 40 seconds it may scare them into staying home.  It seems that compliance should have been taken more seriously in previous weeks.  But was it already too late?  New Yorkers were encouraged by deBlasio, Councilman Levin, Health Commissioner Barbot, to turn out for the Lunar New Year parade and to visit Chinatown restaurants, "not change any plans due to misinformation spreading about coronavirus.”  City Council speaker Corey Johnson on 2/13,  "The risk of infection to New Yorkers is low. There is no need to avoid public spaces. I urge everyone to dine and shop as usual.”  Pelosi did the same as late as February 24, worried about Chinese restaurants being avoided in San Francisco and encouraged people to get out.  No one knew.  Not to worry, use the subway, go about your daily lives.  No one knew.  And we are still learning.  Don't criticize unless you can do better.  If you can, why haven't you?  When are politicians going to put as much effort into their country as they do thinking of ways to denigrate?   At this point, your agenda does not matter. WE DO.  Grow up.  Get off the playground.  Come together as a team.  You don't have to like every person on it, I don't, but I still want the team to win. 
I'm done.

Please be careful.  Be safe.  Be well.

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Winter Brew

Delightful!  I love it.   For those of you wondering about the difference in some neutrals, this may help a little.

All 35/36 count

Far left - R&R Winter Brew
Second from left - Lambswool
Third from left - unbleached natural
Right edge, Weeks Dye Works Beige

The overdyed threads from Colour & Cotton are very nice, very subtle.  I don't think there would be a problem wondering if colors would have radical variations if ordering online.

Have a good day!!

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I said six feet!

No one listens to me.

Another rainy morning.

Its always a good day when your border meets.  The pink dog at the top was to be carrying the basket and the date stitched to its left.  I don't like current dates so I've omitted and moved the basket over to compensate.  Not much left to do before starting the house which I'm sure will take some time.

Mark is out for the weekly shopping, I am still not well enough and shouldn't be spreading my germs.  No testing. Not necessary.  No fever and am improving.  

We're painting the trim on the second level and changing the door hardware to black.  My knobs on the first floor were purchased long ago from Emtek, black wrought iron, but are very pricey today.  So I opted for black with a similar rectangular rosette in a standard knobset.  I will try to sell the other oil rubbed bronze from Emtek that we are replacing.  Whoops.  I forgot about that blue project case I was to offer.  I think I boxed it for shipment and if I don't see something, I will forget about it entirely.

Stay safe.

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