Mar 24, 2012

How do you demand nicely?

Hello to all!  First off, I'm still at it, and it's a good thing linen is such a strong fiber.  It's been taped, pinned, stretched, pulled off, pressed, rolled, and pinched.   Your kind comments have used the word "creative" but I think it's more "restless"!  RFS.  Restless finish syndrome.
I wasted my time going to the antique place to pick up that box, because once the vendor heard that I wanted it, she brought it back in with a higher price tag.  I  didn't bring it home and will not buy from her again.
Then the contractor came for a look, and I was steaming when he left.  Not from a flash either.  Thank God I didn't have one while he was here or there would be a lawsuit for sure.  He was much shorter and thinner than I, and I know I could have taken him.  But he was so nice!!  So how do you nicely convey your demands to someone that is very pleasant and polite, when you want to rip his face off?  Not easy.  For me anyway.  But you can't burn bridges with contractors or no one will ever come out to do work.  A friend recommended this gentleman highly because he removed a load bearing stone wall with fireplace, moved everything that was within that wall, rebraced, and installed a new kitchen - whatever she wanted!  So I started the work list.  I said I wanted a smooth cooktop and a wall oven built in beneath it.  WHY?  It's cheaper to just get a regular stove.  I don't want a regular stove.  I want the door opening made wider with trim added.  WHY?  You're only gaining a few inches and you could buy plastic strips to put on edges instead of trim.  This 9" end cabinet needs removed for the wider opening with an end filler panel instead. That's a nice cabinet and you can't have just an end support there for the oven.   Isn't the oven supported by sitting on the cabinet and not HANGing on the side????  Technically yes.  Moving on, I want this base end cabinet 1 1/2" higher with a wood top, and the upper cabinet extending down to the wood to create the look of a hutch.  WHY?  You want as much counter space as you can get and all cabinets should be the same height.   You can't use wood for a counter top unless it's butcher block.  OK.  I want a cabinet built to accommodate the fridge so it looks like a large furniture piece.  REALLY?  I never saw that and don't think it will work.  I want this wall moved back to make this area larger for dining.  WHY?  It's a nice layout as is and you'll end up with a very small space there.  Have you ever heard of a hall, with a desk and computer?  Hey. If that's what you want.  The cabinet maker will ship the doors so the additional cabinets match but I need the cabinet boxes built.  I can't build the box. 
Here's what my hard-of-hearing husband heard loud and clear-
 I can build the box!!!  He's a contractor - why can't HE build the box!   I'm paying him.  He's not supposed to question my plan unless it's improper to code.  Don't question my style especially since you have NO idea of what colonial or shaker design entails.  Do not tell me what kind of stove I should purchase, or that something can't be done when I have an entire DVD of kitchen photos, and one state over there is a man named David T. Smith that does this!!!  He took down a stone fireplace load bearing wall for my friend but THIS can't be done????
And believe me when I say that I sanitized the language for you.
 I will start calling a few others and see what they say.   There is a custom cabinetry business out of town that is extremely pricey, and the last time we spoke, he didn't get it either.  Maybe I will take the DVD with me, and see if he would consider putting me into bankruptcy, or if the job is too small for them.  I'm done and I'm sorry for the ranting.  I thought if I wrote it out it would help let it go. 
I'm afraid to pick up Lucy right now because I have had more errors on her than any other piece and that includes that little BBD bird from hell.  I had to remove the first part of the last line of the verse and when I did, I used the blue that is charted.  Several times.  The eyelet is going very slowly. 
I would like to sit outside and rock away the anger, but someone else has that idea.  As I'm closing, the Flicker is drilling on the stainless steel chimney stack, vibrating in my head like a jackhammer.
Again, sorry for the rant!
Have a safe and enjoyable weekend.
Thank you for listening!

21 comments:

Sweet Sue said...

Fine finishes Marly, quite nice. Contractor nonsense never ends, makes a person want to give up and go to an apt, I know I'm ready!!! Good luck with your project, hope you find a guy who REALLY gets it, without having to hit him over his head with a 2x4!

Mouse said...

ohhh dear ... i hope you can get some one to fo the work for you :)
sorry about the frog and *passes you a large mug of something soothing . love mouse xxxxx

Teresa S. said...

You are doing the RIGHT thing! Interview those "contractors"--if they don't get it now, they certainly won't get it when the job is 1/2 done and your house is torn apart. Do you think he has too much work right now and doesn't need your job? :)

Joy said...

I'm just sending hugs to you! After two major jobs in my home, I know if you don't like what you hear from the MAN talking, don't do it.

Keep on at Lucy, she's worth the effort.

Hope you get to enjoy your weekend.

Rugs and Pugs said...

Marly ~
The good part is you know what you want and are willing to fight for it. David's stuff in WONDERFUL but I don't know who can afford it. I have a friend in southern Ohio who went to DTS, got ideas and then had the Mennonite carpenter do her cupboards.
Good luck!!!
Hugs :)
Lauren

Rebecca said...

Where are the Norm Abrams and the Bob Villa's of the every day person's world and budgets?
So sorry to hear of your contractor wow's. I have incurred some of the same type battles myself. Just don't give up. Someone out there will get it and hear you. Your dream contractor will come when you least expect it to save your remodel.

Penny said...

Oh boy, do I hear you LOUD and CLEAR!! It's nearly impossible to get someone to do what you want -- especially if it's in the primitive style! We have been so lucky this time -- we are restoring my grandmother's homestead, and our builder GETS it!! We just had a DTS kitchen put in.... our guy told us he was right in the range of what it would cost if he did it, so we went with it and it is marvelous!! Our fridge is behind cabinet-like doors, as is our dishwasher. Many people around town have never seen that, but it's in all the mags and is just stunning, as you well know. Keep looking for the right guy!!! They're out there (even if they're few and far between), and best of luck!

Margaret said...

Oh my gosh, it's so obvious this contractor is just so wrong for you! He just doesn't get it at all! Wow! I hope you find someone perfect for your job and it all works out with no more headaches. Have you tried that online website where everyone does reviews? I can't remember the name of it -- agh!! I used it when we were looking for contractors to do the drainage system in our basement. They advertise on TV too.

Love your pieces on the baskets -- gorgeous! Bummer about the dealer who raised the price on the box you wanted. How ridiculous is that?! Geez!

Margaret said...

Whew! I remembered the name! Angie's List! Just google it. It's pretty cheap if you just join for a month. Google it and you'll find it. I hope I don't come across as spam. lol!

Barbara said...

Marly, you go right ahead and rant if you want to. I've dealt with some thick headed contractors and if it's one thing I've learned....they don't know everything!!! Stick to your guns and get what you want. You're the one who has to live with it so why shouldn't it be what you want!!
Hope the remaining weekend goes great!
Blessings

Shirlee said...

Margaret has a good idea ... check on Angie's List & also with the BBB. Contractors are harder to find than a good man & Lord help us, most of the time they ARE men! The contractor I hired to paint the inside of my house ... walls, doors, & woodwork ... charged me $4300 & then told me I could only choose one color for the whole house because after all, his men couldn't be endlessly washing out their rollers & brushes from room to room. He grudgingly did paint one bedroom blue for me instead of mustard like the rest of the house but you can be sure he was vocal in his complaints. He did other work for us too ... all at the same time & we weren't moved in yet or I would've told him to take a hike at the first sign of incompetence. When I pointed out I didn't like how the wall paint was splashed on the trim, how the trim paint was splashed on the walls, how the trim was broken, the railings were crooked, the stairs were uneven, & more ... he told me I was "picky" & that nothing anyone could ever do would please me. Argh! I considered flying to Haiti to find a voodoo priestess & handing over his photo so she could do her stuff but in the end ... & it's a long story ... he got the money & I got the mess he created. I wish you much luck dear friend. Don't be in any rush to find the perfect contractor. They're out there & are worth taking the time to find.

Chris said...

I think you need some chocolate.
I can't believe your contractor was not giving you what you want...dumba**.
Don't stitch right now, it will be there later.
Hugs!

Faye said...

Breathe deeply my friend~~~ You have every right to be steaming... All I know is I want to come see this kitchen one day. I love the design concepts you WANT to have done!!! Git 'em!

Ann said...

Marly, I think you need a margarita! That always seems to help me. LOL. Stick to your guns and get what you want in your kitchen. Someone will "get it" and it CAN be done. Sorry that you may have to talk to several contractors before you find the "one". ~Ann

Bertie said...

Wow Marly that contractor is useless, when a builder starts telling you how your kitchen should look, get rid of him LOL. You had me in stitches though with your story, I hope you are relaxed today with some stitching on your mind:))
I love the samplers on your baskets!

Charlene ♥ SC said...

I was thinking I'd offer a hug, then I thought, no, what Marly needs is NOT a hug! I spent part of the morning watching various "crashers" on HGTV yesterday. So, do you think if you go hang out at your local Lowe's or Home Depot one of those hunky contractor guys will come by you, looking at cabinet knobs and stain to ask, "What kind of project are you here for? How about I follow you home in this monster truck and see what I could do for your kitchen?" One guy went to buy glue to put the microwave door handle back on, and came away with an indoor/outdoor kitchen that was VERY nice. Go on... just the chance would be better than the guy you talked with!

Penny said...

Oh my goodness Marly! Your contractor sounds like the one that built my parent's house. Everything they wanted, he wanted to question and talk them out of it. I agree with what others have said - stick to what you want and don't give up. The right person is out there.

Terry S. said...

H Marly - Finding the right contractor can be the toughest part of a project. May I suggest a book that features some of David T. Smith's kitchens - "Early American Country Homes" by Tim Tanner. I ordered mine from Amazon.com & a new magazine "A Primitive Place". Smith is a contributing writer. Spring 2012 has his drawings of his kitchen in his WV home that is in the Tanner book. (aprimitiveplace.org) Don't give up when you have your dream kitchens * look back it will be worth it.

Carol said...

I've been away and am so behind on my blog reading, Marly. It sure sounds like this guy is wrong, wrong, wrong for you (or anyone!!)... I sure hope the right guy appears soon...

Love your samplers applied to the baskets--you have such creative ways of displaying your work!!

Michele said...

A Virtual HUG. Dang contractors! Having a family in the painting contracting business, I know it is not customary to be opinionated unless asked for it and then to suggest someone who COULD if we can't do it is a good policy. I personally would see the interesting challenge in your design and be very interested in how it turns out. Learning how to do something along the way if need be. I just think, because it's not HIS style he's just being lazy in countering your ideas. I hope you find someone in your area who is reasonably priced and knows exactly what you are looking for or willing to learn about it or at least point in in the right direction of someone who does.

TheCrankyCrow said...

Ahhhh....Marly needs a glass (or more) of Chardonnay....and I should have started at the top of my catch-up here and worked down. Now you know, partly, why my kitchen/bath redo is still in the "frustrate" stage. HELP! I'm not even looking at redesigning my layout - as there IS no layout to redesign....just a new sink, new countertop, and a facelift of some sort for my cabinetry. Hello??? Anyone out there??? And, please, when that is done, take down my 30-year old wallpaper, and help me find some window treatments that work on 6 different sized windows...No?? Too difficult? What did you ask again?? Pass me the Chardonnay....skip the glass....

Wishing you the best....Hugs & Smiles ~ Robin

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