Helpless. Incapable.
They have not been able to reduce those 17 pounds of fluid, and have taken her off all diuretics. Not in her lungs, but unable to breathe with any movement. No answers. She saw one doctor upon arrival Saturday, none since. They told her here that if this is lymphatic fluid from her destroyed channels, not much they can do. But we still don't know.
I've been there twice before during her crises, but was not damaged. My brother does not feel I need to be there until a diagnosis and treatment is determined. My husband offered to go with me but he would be sitting in a hotel room for days. Originally, he said he would sit with Carole and I could try to calm down in the room when needed. No. You must be registered as the only person allowed to see the patient, NO CHANGES. If he stays here, I don't have to worry about Bud. Carole told the nurse her son would schedule time off for the procedure/surgery and was told he needs to stay in the lobby and cannot see her. I need to be checked every time I come in, and also daily at the hotel. Honestly, if family was permitted to stay in the patient's room as before, they would not be exposed to the restaurant, other visitors, car service, every time they left the room and came back. To me, that is safer, but not allowed. I do not want to take an Ativan every morning but I don't think I have a choice. So the plan is to hope she is given some information today and take it from there. My family feels I am too fragile, but she is so scared and alone. Chris cannot take off a week of work but is riding with us to drop me off, planned to run in and say hello but can't. I don't want Mark driving himself so I'm glad about that. I need to hear the plan, that they can help her, because if I can't settle my emotions I will do more harm and remove any hope she may have. Not being vaccinated isn't too much concerning since they are so strict there, but I do not know if I can wear a mask all day, need to add grease to my lips and mouth at least twice and hour which can be done when alone.
Missy and Nit can be locked in the garage for days and cry all they want, food water litter provided by others. But Bud can't. He is too weak and eats a tiny bit at a time, the other two will finish it before he would. Continual coaxing of various flavors throughout the day will not be happening which he needs, but he would be hiding anyway. I honestly don't know what to do.
To be continued.....
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18 comments:
Marly: So sorry all this is happening, I wish they could figure out what is causing her problems.
Still have you in daily prayers.
Hugs
Catherine
Marly. Trying to think of solutions for you. Do you have a vet tech at your vet's or can they refer you to a person that comes into peoples homes like a dog walker etc. There are businesses that usually are vet techs that can care for animals in their homes when their owners are away that need special care, meds etc. Check to see if they are bonded etc. My mom had terrible swelling in her legs due to other health issues, she did not have congestive heart failure. They would swell, get blisters, leak fluid, got infected once. I would clean, wrap in gauze and then pressure wraps (ace bandage or elastic wrap type). They have lymphedema boots that alternate pressure, use for about an hour, then wrap as above. May need physical therapy type people. Only problem is the fluid gets redistributed and someone with heart failure may not tolerate. I am assuming that the fluid is in her legs. I hope you have some answers soon. You are doing the best you can.
Marly, I'm so sorry. You have a lot on your shoulders. Praying for you and Carole and sending hugs and all the best thoughts.
Praying these concerns be lifted by a viable plan and improvement in Carole's condition and that you find some semblance of peace and strength in the process.
You are doing all you can, Marly dear, and you should allow the professionals and the Lord to take it from there while you conserve yourself. Trust in Him. Carole
is greatly blessed to have you.
I hope you get some answers soon. Good for Chris riding along, even if he can't go in. You need the moral support, and he can keep Mark company on the trip home. Sad that he can't go in and see Carole though :-( I hope that Mark being back home taking care of the brats gives you a small comfort.
When you need to treat your lips and mouth, go to the corner of the room farthest from Carole and hold your breath while treating them? Step into the bathroom, assuming there's a private one in the room?
(((hugs)))
So very sorry you're having to deal with all this. It's not a fun time, I know. {{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}
Oh my, how helpless,discouraged and frustrated you must feel. My Dad used to live in Hermitage, if he were still there I would pay him an extended visit and come to your house daily and take care of the brats for you. I`m at a loss for words but a story comes to mind...have you ever heard of Sir Ernest Shackleton? He was an explorer whos` ship was crushed by ice in the Antarctic. He maneuvered his crew of 28 to an ice pack and then to Elephant Island when he decided the only way they would be saved was if he could sail the 22 ft lifeboat they had 700 miles(thru the Southern Ocean) to a whaling station on South Georgia Island. It was a nearly impossible feat but after 16 days Shackleton and his 5 companions made it to the southern shore! But unfortunately the whaling station was on the north side of the island. Shackleton and two others attempted to cross the mountainous interior of the island , which had never been crossed, to get help (leaving the other 3 men on the southern shore as they were too weak to travel). At one point Shackleton and the two men were exhausted and full of despair. They actually tied a rope around their waists and flung themselves down the edge of a mountain, hoping and praying for the best. Unbelievably they eventually heard a whistle from the whaling station and stumbled into the village barely alive but they survived! A boat was quickly dispatched to retrieve the 3 men left on the southern shore and afterwards a boat was sent to recover the rest of the crew from Elephant Island. Miraculously all 28 men survived. I can`t help but draw a parallel to you now - you are on the top of that mountain like Shackleton was - in uncharted territory and at a loss of what to do. Say a prayer Marly and have faith things will happen as they are meant to. As another commented you have done all you can, maybe a path will present itself to you. I hope you aren`t displeased with my story, I am only relaying it because it`s exactly what came into my mind, that despite how bleak things may look sometimes a miracle is possible. Take care my friend.
I have no words of comfort....but I do hope that Carole and the brats...and the rest of your family know how incredibly blessed you all are to have such an intensely close and caring relationship. I have not left the house in a week and a half, not seen another person, nor spoken to anyone on the phone, in over a week and a half...I could be in the hospital on life support for all anyone knew or cared. I am curious about why they took her off the diuretics? Because they did not seem to be helping alleviate the fluid? Yes, I agree about trying to search out a vet tech.... or someone with the patience of Job...er...I mean Marly? I had thought of seeing if there may be a vet that would offer "hospice" care, but would drive you to bankruptcy I am sure even if they could "accommodate" Bud's "anti-social" inclinations. My heart is anxious for you.... Please hang in there....but I do believe you should delay plans to go there until there is something more "definitive" as far as diagnoses and/or "plans" go. ~Robin~
Marly, all I can do is add my thoughts and prayers in what is an incredibly difficult situation. Take care of yourself, too. Cherie in WI
I am just plain sorry that you are getting so much misery piled upon you. I think about you often and like everyone else, wish that I could lighten the load.
Oh boy, you do have a lot on your shoulders. Maybe not go until Carole has a diagnosis and you all can take it from there and get a plan together? With Covid everything has changed as far as being able to be with family in a hospital setting. It's hard for you I know. You want to be there for her. Would your brother be able to take care of Bud and the other brats? I was happy to read that it looks like you no longer have a fibrosis diagnosis. That must be a great weight lifted from your shoulders. I know it was causing you a lot of sleepless nights and anxiety. Looks like that PA needs to get into another line of work. And also Carole is in a good hospital where she is being well taken care of. So hang onto those two positive things. I'm still praying for you both and will continue to do so. Take care!
Wishing I had a solution for your troubles......
Sending hugs and prayers for you and Carole. Take care of yourself too.🙏👼🍀💝🌟🌹
Lots of love, Truus from Holland
Offer still stands......I can make it to Cleveland quickly and am always available for whatever I can help with....anything. 440-352-6327 (home) 440-413-4865 (cell) I can be just another ear for company and hopefully help relive your stress a little.
Dear Marly, be still and know that you cannot make everything right all by yourself. Am glad you have Mark and Carole's son to offer help.
In my opinion, maybe you should hold off until you know something definite about Carole. It is a good thing, though, for someone to see to it that she is getting the proper care.
I stayed with John for months on end as he had open heart surgery. Don't know if it did any good except he wanted me there.
Take care of yourself as much as you can........don't let yourself get down so you can't help......take the Ativan, it will help you get through this.
Thoughts and prayers for strength and for Carole to pull through this.
There is something new in the cat food line..........cans of soup and broth. Maybe Bud would like that ? I think it is made by Fancy Feast. Will try it with Sheldon when he has his teeth worked on on the 23rd.
Charlotte in Va.
I am so, so sorry for all that you are going through...with family and fur babies. My heart goes out to you and pray there will be answers soon. Remember to take care of you during this difficult time...
Oh Marly! Just catching up on blog reading and am so sorry to read about ALL that you are going through. I hope things improve dramatically and quickly. Sending you some virtual hugs. Take care!~
My heart goes out to you, my friend. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers and hoping you catch a break very soon. Please be kind to yourself--your health is important, too! It's not being selfish--you need to be strong and in a good frame of mind to take care of others. Sending a hug your way ♥
Just wanted you to know I am very sorry to read all of this. You have been thru so much already. As I understand from following your blog a long time, that Caroleu8 has as well.
I hope you can rest some, I have a dear elderly lady friend from chuch who suffers in many of the ways that you have been experiencing with her throat & mouth.
I will be praying for you & your family. One of the hardest things I have ever done was try and let go of a situation, and not handle it myself. Please remember that you are loved, and that you need to take care of yourself too. Bless you.
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