I am chicken,

 hear me cluck.

My scheduled HeartFlow test is Tuesday and I am needing an Ativan which no doctor will prescribe.  Not even ten of the .5 mg.  Everything I went through the last two years with Carole during covid and her crises, I was denied a few pills.  My neighbor, friend, and cousin get them like M&Ms.  My blood work from the new doctor after complaining of continued exhaustion ordered CMP and CBC, no B-12, no iron, no d, nothing else.  My husband has no issues and after his yearly visit is ordered CMP, CBC, and a boatload of various tests for all sorts of levels, kidney function, liver, D, B-12, Iron, Magnesium, and some I am not familiar with.  Also offered carotid scan since he's over 70.  

Anyway, I am terrified of the iodine contrast since I have had a previous reaction.  The pre-medications are 50 mg of steroid every 6 hours along with 50 mg of Benadryl.  I took a Medrol pack of 4 mg doses and puffed out with flushing for days.  Half of a Benedryl OTC 25 mg puts me to sleep.  Seriously.  Two doses (even one dose) of 50 and I will be knocked out.  Sorry, but I am very drug sensitive.  The anxiety about this is causing more palps than ever which would most likely require a heart med to regulate/slow beat during the imaging for a better scan.  Since I am so sensitive, how slow would I go without .... well, you know.  Am I being a baby?  A small clot dislodged during a heart cath and Linda had a stroke that required a three month hospital stay, she will never be the same.  Both of us have afib and PVCs (more prone to clots).  So I am clucking away and feel I am being foolish since I could have a blockage in my heart.  Or it could be nothing.  Yoi.

We drove to Hubbard Ohio to get cheaper gas, and stopped at their little General Store where I had previously bought this little tin for a few bucks to offer Carole.  I kept it.  And then bought another later for her.  And kept it.  So today I bought hers.  And another for me.  The dollar (1.25) store has the little LED candles that last 100 hours so I got a few for inside.  My favorite item and the only one they had left is this faux leather pumpkin.  Sweet.  At the General I found neck gaiters in pink for 1.99 so grabbed a few for her aides.  So much easier than scarves and less bulky.

There are tomatoes growing on the large porch off her room, includes a variety I never saw.  A nurse has the seeds, they are strawberry shaped!!  Small and sweet, not a grape, perfect little berries.  Her grandmother grew them and she saves seeds every year.  Not growing well this year, a low spreading plant loaded with fruit waiting to ripen.

These are the magnificent monster baskets lining Hubbard's main street.  Holy crap.  Every year, massive! And although September 1, these beauties show no signs of bare centers or failing blossoms.  The fire truck goes around at night to water them.  The greenhouse I showed months ago with the unusual arrangements must be their creator and I will certainly ask next year.  And the baskets are moss which never hold enough water.  Probably lined.  

I did some work on Kezia, the over one tent and it is taking some time.  As for Jane, husband and I studied the two linens with stitching and the second green in the vine is not showing, neither is the apricot/rust flower.  I really like the Confederate Gray but it may require too many thread changes.  I dipped the Tobias to remove green and it is now luscious.  Will work on that decision after another day with Kezia.

Blab blab blab.  Sorry.  I'm just torn as to what to do and quite anxious.  

Keep on clucking.

Be safe!!

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