The first year anniversary of losing her. The daily thoughts and grief hasn't changed, the anger regarding the actions of the two living there has not softened. I am upset with myself for not being able to let it go. Chris has to some degree, I can't. Have been to her house very briefly only a few times since. I see my loved yellow car parked there, now Tracy's, and it's as much a disaster as the house (she doesn't work). Why are they there? Grandkids. They have enough trauma every other week when staying with their mother, great grandma's home was/is always their happy place.
Stitching.
I started the Halloween Cat on WDW linen that has a greenish cast, coverage on this 35 count is not good. The top part is two threads, down from that is one thread with second leg of cross done twice, the right side of the bottom area is one thread.
That two thread section was quite difficult for me, too heavy pulling through and the black made it hard to see. The single thread double cross is what I decided to work. First option was wool, which gave me the raised texture I was wanting, but kept shredding.
Much time was spent on changes, starting over, now I have direction.
With a limp.
I dropped a seven foot long 4x4 on the side of my big toe. Broken? Too swollen and discolored to tell, but the bleeding finally stopped. Need hydrocolloid again, lots of skin gone.
My rescheduled vertigo testing is tomorrow, I have decided to refuse any exercise/ movements to bring it on if they can't stop it before I leave the office.
Enjoy the last weekend of September.
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6 comments:
I can't believe its been a hear already. Your feelings are a testament to your love for her. Keep stitching, it gives some relief. Tskr.care, Linda.from PA
Sorry about the conditions of Carole's house & car, can't be easy to see even if you don't go inside. I hope somehow you can find a bit of relief from the memories. Not to forget them, but for them to become less...painful and distressing. OUCH on the toe injury, cold comfort that it gives a good excuse to sit and stitch. I hope the vertigo appointment gives you some answers. Can't imagine that they'd let you go if you were still dizzy?!
Sending hugs ♥️
A big hug to you-- so normal you are still missing your Sis Carole....💞
So sorry for you to see how they are living in her house. Don't they come to see you in your house?
Hope that the appointment is going well and you got your answers.
Take care,,Truus from Holland
Oh, that has so be so difficult watching Carole's house and car slip into a sad state. How you must miss your big sister, Marly... Those first anniversaries are always the hardest to bear, aren't they? Thinking of you and I hope your vertigo appointment offers some help! I've had it three times and it's the worst! Take care now. ♥
My heart hurts for you my friend... I know some of what you are experiencing but each of our wounds are different I know. Even though I am thoroughly changing the lake house, it still brings overwhelmingly sadness at times. And I've only managed to drive past my mom's house once in all these years since we sold it. Some things are just too hard, you know? Good luck with the vertigo testing... You saying you are refusing anything that will bring it on is a good idea and brought to mind a period when I was have frequent, AWFUL, uncontrollable nosebleeds. They sent me to a specialist and he had some instrument he was going to use and I begged him not to - told him it would start to bleed if he did use it...he did, and blood gushed and they ended up having to cauterize my nose to stop it. Grrrr....
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