An end within reach

 but only for this sampler.  Still spinning my wheels and dealing with a patient in constant pain, unable to accept the diagnosis, possibly not survive another surgery, spending hours and hours on the phone for info.  No openings, we must wait another ten days to see a doc at CC.  Today, I found out that the case worker we were referred to, responsible for patient applications to the Waiver program (three requests to her personally within two weeks time), never did.  Damn good thing I called the state agency to check on status this morning.  

Not much more to stitch for a finish on Margret.  I honestly have been wondering why I'm continuing.  A crumpled ball of nerves and confusion and questions is not being calmed by needlework.  I placed a three item order yesterday for a small project and linen piece, only because I was notified that it was back in stock.  We'll see what happens to my mojo in the coming weeks after we see more doctors.  But a large sampler would not be advisable.  Margret's design allowed concealment for a multitude of color and placement errors but the beauties waiting in my stash would not.  

This motif was to be completed in the light brown but when that thread ran out, I saw a needle with pink thread so used it instead.  Not the first time laziness ruled, and these little changes have turned out quite nicely.  

I also need to make a tough decision about the vaccine.  Advised not to, and I fear my reaction would cause another autoimmune to present itself because of my dormant but very high markers, or the fissures on my tongue could worsen and spread to my throat.  Another lock down, I was there before it, and being in and out of all the facilities and each appt, I don't know what to do.  Half of the US is vaccinated, but locally, 90% are without a mask.  That large unvaxxed percentage would have been banned from public not that long ago. 

I don't know what day it is, so I'll just say to have a good one, whatever the hell it is.

**********************

 

*******************

Eye Yi Yi

 Will not post regarding any possible progress or hope, we always get slammed the next day.  Rather than two steps forward, one step back.... her situation is always one step forward, four steps back.   And every day I am grateful for your prayers and well wishes for her.

Nitzy (Bud's son) had a terrible eye issue years ago when we could not get close.  That eye is quite cloudy.  When we finally snatched him and had him checked by a mobile vet, we were given a tube of Neo Polycin HC, now years old and a tiny amount remaining.  Just like getting an appt when you're in dire need, no difference for our pets.  The mobile that gave Bud peace, always replies quickly, could not come, even checked clinics and others for us.  Nothing.  My vet never answered the early morning call until late afternoon to inform me he is on vacation, can't fill an RX.  We had Nit trapped all day waiting, but this is routine with that office.  My brother tried with his vet, only to find out that their 12 hour day of appts was cancelled because of illness, will not open until Tuesday.  So Nit's other eye (this developed very quickly) has been getting some of the old ointment, slight improvement, but the cloudiness is not leaving.  Looks like two eyes will be damaged.  But hopefully we will get somewhere Tuesday.  I have to meet with Carole's doctor mid day.

And another eye, this time eye-let.  For some unknown and unnecessary reason, I am always looking back at the chart photo of the piece, many times it's the original.  I noticed this faint band, thought I would add it. 

 It may have been rice, eyelet, or a hell of a linen slub, I decided to try eyelet.  Should it stay or should it go?

There is another band higher in the sampler so I think it's a good fit.

Those flowers in the last post are not all mine, half are for Carole that I get every year.  Same with the ferns.  That clothesline pole in bright silver aluminum, is what I would spray black to blend in.  And yes, that deck will be removed along with the stamped concrete for the sewer project.

Carole is having a difficult time keeping personal items within reach so I bought these magnetic hooks for the tray table support leg and a bunch of the little craft bags to hang so she can have easy access.  I am so fricking clever.

Sweat pants, jackets, and running furnace.  Nice.

Have a enjoyable weekend.

******************

Soon to be June

And lots of transplanting to still do.  Carole's are done, ferns and petunias, mine will be soon.  For years I moved to a 12" pot using ProMix all purpose.  Just grabbed the only bag I found and it's Garden, for in ground.  I had to switch to Miracle Gro and repot all.  Not very knowledgeable about annuals, I didn't want to chance a high nitrogen or whatever and risk more loss.   The clothesline pole was a good way to hang nine ferns using three hooks so I'm getting a few more and will spray paint them black.

Comfort food is sometimes more heartburn than comfort, but good kielbasa is worth it.

 Sis was moved, even though staff and supervisors kept coming in and requesting she stay.  After one day in the new place, the therapy manager understood her restrictions.  Just by two simple adjustments, she was able to accomplish the movement that was unattainable before.  Therapy is therapy, necessary and helpful, but sometimes the therapist makes all the difference.  From the numerous phone calls and questions and offers, we absolutely made the right decision.  She's not as close, but holy crap that place is gorgeous with beautifully landscaped and accessible outdoors, and more importantly, dedicated, accommodating, informative.  

Finally heard from CC, said her kidney/heart issue was a real struggle after the contrast dye and they may not attempt the right leg.  The NAC that is very helpful in preventing the kidney failure from contrast, is not available.  She is not being evaluated for over two weeks, no testing scheduled before, and the necrosis on her left took only 24 days from a few toes to entire front of leg ....  Nothing we can do, but maybe the doctor at this new facility will take over.  Sometimes she is nasty and disgusted, other times her sense of humor returns.  When the team came in a few days ago, they said that she will lose the left's toes.  She looked puzzled, "how"?  A nurse said they will fall off and hit the floor.  Carole's reply was, "I hope I'm not eating a hot dog when that happens".  Well, our hot dog buns were enjoyed by our raccoons that night and the Smith dogs are in the freezer.

So many phone calls, research, ordering, returning, and I continually requested her weight to gauge robe size and was told it hadn't changed.  I guess this new facility knows how to read numbers because she is close to 40 pounds lighter.  I already washed everything, can't return, and had to reorder a smaller size.  I even ordered a few items for myself. Very nice, not real cheap (for a penny pincher like me) and although seeming like excellent quality, not so after washing.  But the muslin throw from Mushie is a big hit.  The adaptive gown over $60 (with express shipping) is missing, as is the pink silky muumuu.  No idea how they disappeared.

Mark made a very large cross for Bud's resting site, and when I saw it unfinished on the dining table I thought we would be fighting vampires.  Big ones.  After these last few months, bring it.  He is still very upset and misses him.

So I hope all is well with you and yours and even some that aren't.  

Most of you will not agree but I am sad that Swamp People is ending this week.  Really.  I enjoy Troy and his family, envy the large gatherings sharing food and laughter after a long sweaty work day.  It has nothing to do with the hunt.  To me, that is real life reality TV.  Not half naked girls claiming their kids come first, with more hair and makeup than I weigh, fighting over an idiot.

Enjoy what's left of May.  

Oh my, that hurt coming out.

**************

Nancy's 1776

Nancy (Eden Berry winner) sent me a photo of her finish of my 1776 freebie.

********************

It's finally warming up, but nowhere near how hot my mom's getting.

Five weeks and still no credit or return acceptance from Woman Within, but not important right now.  Never again.

*************************

 My eyes have not been this bad and unable to stay open in light except when the Sjogren's originally hit.  I managed to get the large bottom right flower completed before that happened.

******************************

I honestly do not know where to turn.  Original doc said he could not open blockages, must go elsewhere.  He sends her to CC.  After the kidneys failing because of contrast dye while continuing on 120 mg of lasix after, she is in trouble.  And then the cardiogenic shock, a second aortic valve, over a week for kidneys and heart to recover, send her back here.  The doctor said the PAD procedure could be as outpatient in the near future (one small ulcer at that time). Let kidneys rest a while before the contrast shuts them down again.  Five weeks later, after her leg starting blackening (covered, we did not know), the toes continued which was concerning.  Five weeks?  I tried to get appt with the doctor who would treat.  Called and called to move it up.  Horrified when they removed the wrap.  The doctor that originally sent her from here, called me (I didn't request it) and laid into me as I was doing my best to be pleasant.  I did not expect him to proceed when he could not, I did not accuse him of failure, I said CC said it could be done as outpatient.  Still as nasty as hell, he stated that he did his part, sent her there, they did nothing and sent her back.  I explained she almost died and needed the valve ..... not his concern.  He did his part, he's not doing it again, he sent her once.  PCP said CC should have scheduled.  Back and forth, each passing the buck.  We are in the same boat again.  Not future schedule, the right leg is starting to deteriorate, I am getting no where.  Her PCP told me (as before) see what you can do.  Appt for review is not for three weeks.  No return calls yet.  I am looking into a clinic in Ohio, but with a bad heart, I don't know if they will do it.  University hospital in Cleveland has a Limb Saving program, only a few blocks from CC, I have not heard back.  

I was not sleepy last night at 7pm, I was at the end of sanity.  So what do I do?  I am not a doctor, but I am basically in charge of procedure scheduling and have been doing my best, but getting nowhere.  She asked her PCP of 35 years to call and move things up, he said "did they say that would help?" and no calls were made.  Yet I've received disturbing calls from him to say her toes are self amputating and she will lose the leg, probably not survive the surgery, might as well go ahead with the risk because she's going to die anyway. Carole made me promise to not lose my temper with her docs.  I do not understand at all what is happening.  And yet overwhelmed with guilt.

********************

Berry late

 Sorry.  Been a trying day and I just woke up since collapsing at 7pm.  Very few entries and Random picked Nancy Summa who emailed hers.  

Thanks for the offers to stitch the over one for me.  I mistakenly ordered Eden twice, if I decide to stitch would probably abbreviate the design into an ornament.  

Have a nice weekend everyone.

***************************