More light than darkness

 Still shadows and moments of dark, but glimpses of light are increasing.  I'm fortunate.  Too many we know of vaxed and not, hospitalized for weeks.

All I did was change pillowcases and barely made it to the chair before my knees buckled.  Wow.  But my voice is now strong enough for a short conversation and that prompted (so far today), eight calls from a certain sister about issues she needs taken care of.  Not now girl.  Not now.

Thank you everyone for your concern.  We'll never know how much worse it may have been without receiving the monoclonal antibodies.

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Coping, day 17

 I walked without assistance this morning.  Ten feet, but that's ten more than four days ago.  Yes I sounded like a race horse that lost but we can't all be winners.

UPMC calls for updates and commented that many patients have my symptoms, others entirely different, and there is no particular product or remedy that works/treats a virus.  Four bottles and over $100 later from a health store verified this.  So does this mean that what may help me won't help others?  Yes.  But not always.  It's possible.  Not probable. A shot in the dark.  But if you're already in darkness does it matter?

Just in case, I thought I would list some items that I feel helped me cope with the head, dizziness, nausea, fatique, insomnia, shakiness.

A tray table was filled and moved from room to bedside making access easier and keeping aids together.  The stomach issue was helped with small portions of banana in morning and throughout the day, and applesauce.  Mylanta helped calm the stomach jitters and strawberry Pedialyte was also taken in small portions.  Less drowsy Dramamine was quartered, enough to help without causing sleep.  Vernor's ginger ale a few sips at a time between all else was another small comfort.

An hour before bed, one Tagamet, right before bed, 10ml of Mylanta, and the wedge pillow made a huge difference in my morning upset.  The breath tester is used every hour as recommended.   I was using the Tussin at first but it worsens the Sjogrens dryness so I stopped.  Tylenol or Advil along with 12 hour Delsym is preferred.

Mark asked if I wanted my bright green bag on a neck chain but after changing to this routine, I did not need it again in mornings.  But it has become an accessory for doc visits and car rides.

I am anxious to shower but certainly cannot chance a problem between the heat and steam when this weak.  So I am using the bathing cloths and No Rinse while seated, and Mark purchased a few Shampoo Caps (new to me and a Godsend).  I had a fever for over five days but was too sick to care about being stinky.

I have not seen Carole and the long ride would certainly require the green bag and then the long wheelchair ride to her room would contribute to the motion illness.  She is in tremendous pain and they doubled the Oxy, but she is doing therapy. 

My head is spinning, I have not been online and it feels as if I've missed years, but reading or browsing does not keep the stomach calm.  Need to grab my banana and a sip of Vernors.

So just in case someone is going through similar symptoms, and not yet found some tiny bit of relief, I'm hoping what helps me may do the same for someone else.

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This afternoon

 My husband will put me in the transport chair to a doctor.  I can't even stand long enough to wipe my face or brush my teeth.  Several hospital trips, two EMT home visits, inability to stand, walk, or speak loudly enough.  It will take a very long time to recover, but the main issue is the change to my heart and trying to regain a safe rhythm.  Thank God for my devoted and caregiving husband.

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Update

 My sister made it through the surgery without issue, both surgeons were pleased.  She is doing well.

I am not.  I think the monoclonals were a little too late.

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That's a wrap

 Four of them in fact.  My heavy sweat clothes over cotton thermal, with two fleece and one sherpa throw on top.  How can you be so fricking cold when you have a fever?  So jittery and unnerved, this is weird.  We did not receive a call yet for a treatment appointment.  Getting nervous but not as much as Mark.  He doesn't want to leave me if I don't improve and he needs to be there for her surgery.  She is terrified and been told over and over how risky it is with her heart.  I will have to pretend as best I can that I am better.

This is the bronze mum opening, I expected to step into the sun reflecting off concrete and feel comforting warmth, did not happen.

Back to bed, trying to stay awake more than eight of the twenty four hours.

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A positive attitude

 is a good thing to have.  But a positive test is not.  I was very surprised that they called at 8:30pm, slightly more than 24 hours since my test.  They told me at the hospital results would not be available until Tuesday.  Two negatives with the swab in the car, this one absolute positive and wanted to call me right away.  I had a miserable night, high fever for the second time.  I had a fever days ago, next day felt fine without symptoms, nothing noted at the ER visit, and then the fever again.  The covid icu nurse told me this virus is so unpredictable, but she found that when it finds a host it likes, it will present and then retreat to gain strength.  And then it will knock you on your ass up to two weeks later.  But not always.  I asked her if it likes crabass bitches as hosts, she said that's like family to it.

So what does this mean?   Mark has to be with Carole for the surgery, I can't even stay quarantined at the hotel because Chris will be in the suite with us and I can't  contaminate him or have him take this to the hospital.  Dammit.  Dammit dammit dammit!

I am so tired of white.

I have a feeling I will be buying more unwanted linen tomorrow and charts I will never stitch.

Would love this one but not charted by anyone as far as I could tell, Sarah Shepherd 1851.  Is it?  I need to shift my distraction and focus on something enjoyable.  I know stress makes it all worse.  Well, hell!!  Haven't had any of that in the last nine months!  But I will get through this.

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