Flashback

Opening the car door at Home Depot without removing the keys started the ding of the alarm.  It was the same sound of the IVs in her room.  The same.  Exactly.  Like a brick to the chest.  Without tears, people see a twisted face and wonder if you have a nerve condition or are experiencing a tantrum.  If my advantage plan covers the Prokera lens I will do them again.  Doc said I am the driest patient he's ever seen.

This is the door change, was very easy to narrow, and I will probably do two colors horizontally, somewhat like the original.

Several asked about the saddle.  The website of American Molded Plastics in Ohio is here.  I purchased several leaf and floral picks at HL and will do so for each season during their sales.  I cut short and inserted in the dry foam (HL also), after wiring it to the base.  I also purchased a styrofoam glue at JoAnn fabric which sets the stems after 24 hours.  Will do that for heavier Christmas greens.  This is what I made, maybe stems need to be shorter.  You can barely see the little black feet that adjust over the stone with wing nuts in the center.

It's on the stone hidden behind that black one.

As for stolen memorials, typical these days isn't it?  You can wrap thin razor wire around the pots or any place that you would grab.  Take long pliers to place and remove on site.  We have a post and wrought iron hook at driveway, had a hole drilled into the iron hook, heavy wire through it and wrapped through the hanger of the baskets or lantern.  Must be untwisted over and over to get it off.  No grab and go is possible.  Personally, I would rather cut their fingers.

Keeping busy on these few warmer days, picking up the paint project where we left off end of August.  This is BMoore White Dove in eggshell, walls will be the same in flat. 

 The muntin bars, usually a royal PITA were done quickly with spray paint.  Krylon Chalky Finish in Classic White is so very close to White Dove, registers and window grills sprayed look identical.

That's it.  Can't find the PS finishes.  But will eventually.

Be well.

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A new leaf

 Carole and I loved sweet potato vines, that beautiful green mixed with bright flowers.  I considered a wet foam block for their stone's saddle filled with these vines, but realized a silk arrangement would be better.  The several cut from my plant and held in water, rooted very quickly.  I guess a pot and dirt are in order now, we'll see how long it lives indoors.  

Their stone is last row down a slope, impossible to see behind larger stones from the cemetery drive.  After finding a company (american molded plastic in ohio) that makes a headstone saddle held with wing nuts, wind is no longer an issue, nor is visibility. Foam blocks with different arrangements can be wired and removed as needed.  Sellers on amazon and etsy are double in price, I purchased directly from them which included shipping. 

Chris came home last night, surgery went well, doctor is confident the biopsy will be negative.  Four weeks off work when he needs to stay busy, will make it harder to deal with her not being there.  

Stitching on Anne is becoming a chore.  That door was so distracting and I could not envision this finished, doubt if that would be any different when the entire house is stitched.  So it will be changed.  

First, I'll test the color from 370 to 642, adding a window, or as drastic as narrowing it and extending the bricks.  Too much to think about.  Too much to change.  

But it may keep me interested. 

Next post will show how I screwed up the PS ornaments while stitching in the dark hospital room.

Thanks for sticking with me and your kind words.

Be well.

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Waiting

 Today, at some point, they are inserting Chris into surgery schedule.  ER again and again, finally an answer yesterday from testing that should have been done the first visit, he was admitted several days ago.  Should be a routine surgery.  The friend I lost last year had same symptoms, same negative tests, until that same routine surgery revealed an untreatable and rare cancer.  Remote as it is, we can't stop the anxiety.

Honestly, losing her has not sunk in just yet, but I have not slept more than two hours a night since.

Stitching?  Could care less.  I finished the PS ornaments, and picked up Anne Hughs 1852 again.  Too many errors and corrections, not interested in a project so involved.  May stop at this point.

No emails, blogs, social media have been read.  I did view two floss tubes and entered one's giveaway.  Hope everyone is doing well, my heart breaks seeing Helene's destruction.

Be safe.  Be well.

Thank you.

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Thank you

 Your comments and notes meant so much to me.

I can still hear her pleas for help, which makes our loss even more heartbreaking.  Through all the pain and prior surgeries, near death crises, we never saw this despair.

  She would have been pleased with the compliments and response to her obituary, self-written several years ago.  Certainly not typical and reflected her personality.

Sophia (9), her great grand, touched our hearts when she knelt on the ground in her good dress, and with bare hands started covering Carole's urn with dirt until the pile was gone.

We all knew that Carole's pink polka dot robe was her absolute favorite, worn and washed for many years.  From it, I made a child size pillow for Sophia, and attached one of the pockets to the front which holds her hanky.  Another small square pillow with pocket will stay with me.

Again, your thoughtful words were a comfort and I am grateful for every one.

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Shattered

 

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And then again ...

We were told today's cath was cancelled by her doctor.  Why?

So as I'm speaking with him on the phone for an answer, he states he did not cancel it, split second, she's gone.

She had a heart attack when we turned our back to make the call.

And they bring her back after working for 20+ minutes.  So she is masked on bi-pap, aware at times, and we wait.  Afraid to leave, afraid to stay.  

If you want to keep taking all your meds, you get home health.  If you relinquish medications and opt for palliative only, you get hospice.  You cannot stay on your meds while under hospice care because the expectation is to pass peacefully, not to maintain or improve your health.

If her time is so short, I am almost sorry they didn't allow her unaware and peaceful exit to the other side.  Her living will does not state DNR, but we have that in place now, she would not survive another.  She is terrified, aware of her end coming.  Unable to hug, watching tears roll on faces.  Asking for help with a whisper through the mask, wet with her tears.

We don't know what tonight and tomorrow will bring.

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