May 6, 2014

Put it on a t-shirt

I don't play well with others.  That's what my shirt should read.  The older I get, the more this is true.  Is it just me?  Do you get so frustrated with inconsiderate people in your way, taking their time because they have nothing to do that you want to shove them out of the way?  Teen moms screaming obscenities while getting their fake nails done because their children need attention?  Attitudes that show obvious disdain towards others not like them?   Young people using grandma's handicap placard in the parking lots?  The Social Security office being filled with healthy people under thirty, their kids, and the fathers of those kids?  OK.  Obviously not what I originally wanted to post about.  But why do situations bother me now that never did?  Do we get mean as we age?  Or does our tolerance fade?  I don't know. I guess my generation was raised on accountability, responsibility, and manners.  I think about how my parents gave up new clothes or shoes, no dinners out, sacrificed for their kids.   Had respect and courtesy in public for a stranger, friend, or foe.  Moving on.
I don't play well with others.  I've never participated in a stitch along, mostly because I don't like commitments.  Many of you will be in the BBD sampler group and once again, I'm not.  I plan on following the chart and completing this without checking on others' progress.  If I see stitching from a participant on a linen I like more, with colors I like more, well, there 'ya go.  Doubts, hesitation, another start?  You know how many times this would happen?  I do like the fabric and colors I chose, but already wish the count was different.  I don't need to be confused more.  When mine is complete, I will check out everyone's work.  The four sided stitch is fuzzy with the wool and I like it. Maybe anything other than 28 count would not show as well.  As for the stitch, it takes a while to complete a letter.  And of course, I don't follow the stitch diagram, I just come up and go down where I want.  It's much easier to be visual than trying to remember correct stitch placement when others things are floating around in my head.  Hopefully, they will land soon.
My brother is on his way over to pick up what's left of my broken gold jewelry to cash out.  Just a few charms left, and this.  My original engagement ring was set high and broken in the proof machine at the bank 40 years ago.  This was my second setting.  It's 18K, doesn't even fit my little finger, and although beautiful, not me.  So I think I will have him remove the diamond and cash the gold.  Wait.  Maybe not.  No.  I have no use for it, haven't worn it in years, and it will never fit again.  Wait.  Damn.  ????  See what I go through?  How the hell can I pick a paint color?

He just phoned and will be here shortly.  Decision time.  And I better throw the mess into another room,  He's a neat freak and has palpitations when he enters the construction zone.
Thanks for visiting!


Kristen said...

Do we get mean as we age? Or does our tolerance fade?

We do make less seratonin as we age, and that's the neurotransmitter that keeps us on an even keel. The same one that people with clinical depression (**waves**) don't have enough of. If it really bothers you, you could look into an SSRI, but it can take time to find the right one, and there are always side effects to consider.

I don't know. I guess my generation was raised on accountability, responsibility, and manners. I think about how my parents gave up new clothes or shoes, no dinners out, sacrificed for their kids.I don't know.

Nah. There are good eggs and bad in each generation. I could tell you some stories about some of my older relatives. Not pretty.

As far as the SAL goes, I didn't think you were going to actively participate in the group, but I like that I'll be able to watch your progress as I stitch my own sampler. I'm a fan. ;)

Jacqueline said...

Hmmm so there is a clinical explanation for why I have the patience of a gnat . I too find my tolerance level for BS diminishing rapidly with age. Along with the filtering process before I open my mouth to speak.....

My Mom told me "the only good thing about old age is you can speak your mind because no one is going to hit an old lady." I am not sure that is true anymore.

Mary said...

"Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt authority: they show disrespect for their elders ......they contradict their parents...gobble their food and tyrannize their teaches" Socrates . So it never changes. My husband and I mentions this sometimes. parents spoil the children...just as we did our children. ( this is a second marriage...I never spoiled MY children) get it. I think each generation wants more for their children, now we realize maybe that was wrong. I do think this generation does function with a form of entitlement we never had. Whe had less to want too. Our life now seems simpler doesn't it?

Robin said...

What a thought provoking post about tolerance and/or intolerance, Marly! Love your sampler so far! Going back to re-read your post with the materials you are using!

Robin in Virginia

cucki said...

I love your post so much...
Your sampler is looking so pretty...
Big hugs x

Natasha said...

I enjoyed this post because it is what DH and I talk about on a daily basis.....

I hope you were able to "hide" the mess and decided what you were going to do with the ring.... I am not taking part in the SAL mainly because I don't work well under time constraints LOL But I look forward to seeing your progress

Have a wonderful Day

Evelyne said...

Love your sampler so far, Marly!
It's a good idea looking by the others when your sampler is finished, no changing anymore!

happy stitching, Evelyne

Barb said...

We must be in the same spot. Let me add to your list, mother or fathers who are out with their children for a treat( our fro-yo shop) and they IGNORE the kids and spend the whole time looking at their phones!!!!!!! We have seen people who never speak to the kids that whole time. DH and I get so frustrated we feel like snatching those phones! I do like the colors you are choosing for the sampler. Looks great so far!

Pam in IL said...

When I think about how my mother talks to and about others, I've realized that she has lost her "filter" in her old age. Why is that she would wash my mouth out with soap if I said something bad when I was a kid, but she says much worse now than I ever did? It's frustrating!

I think your sampler is looking great!

Barbara Shores ~ Village Folk Art said...

Me too ... Glad to hear I have good company. My patience is nearly zilch, especially when driving. This is not good. But then at my age I am running out of time.
Love your sampler. I have joined in and do not like commitments anymore either. Been there done that...not sure when I will get it finished. It is lovely and I will complete it if God is willing.

Peace to all,

Margaret said...

Your stitching looks great! The ring is pretty. Did you make a decision? What did you decide?

CathieJ said...

Your post states many of the feelings I have had in the past but I no longer look at things the same way. My husband has been out of work for 18 months (he was a Chief Technology Officer) and I only work as a private math tutor as I have not been able to get a full time teaching job in 10 years. We are in our early 50s and now living on our savings. We saved, put our children through private college (they have no loan debt) and always thought we would have an income. Don't judge those at Social Security....there are no jobs. Although we are job hunting we are no longer considered in the federal job statistics as we have been out of work for too long. We are often told we are over qualified... even for retail jobs!
Very discouraging. Thank goodness we only have to consider ourselves now.

Robin Hager said...

I'm with you on the entitlement and no manners thing. I try to speak to the young people I pass in the morning as I walk up the sidewalk to my shop. All I get are looks of annoyance instead of the "good morning" I nicely greeted them with. Whatever, it's their loss!
Hope you kept the ring. It's lovely.

Dot said...

Ha ha ha! Best blog post ever! I totally relate to everything you have written.

I've been umming and ahhing over that BBD SAL. I'm just not good at SALs no matter how hard I try. Maybe I have stitcher's ADD. Love your work.

kathiquilts said...

Hi Marly-
Love the colors you chose and I agree-- a SAL can be fun but it isn't everyone's idea of fun -- either way - it's OK.
Do want to offer an alternative perspective on the younger folks at the Social Security office. They're there because they are applying for disability. They paid into that system when they were able to work or they wouldn't qualify to receive SS Disability. Lots of folks have disabilities that we can't see (heart, neurologic, auto-immune or mental problems to name a few).
They may have their children with them because that can't afford a caregiver while they keep a SS appointment and they may not be feeling well enough to keep the kids in line because it's all they could do to show up for the appointment.
I try to keep in mind that I was fortunate enough to remain healthy enough to keep working at my job until retirement and that I had friends and family enough to help me when I needed it. Sadly, many can't keep working and don't have much of a support system.
and BTW, as a retired clinical Social Worker, I'd second the comments from Kristin about serotonin (as well as her other observations) -- she sounds like a smart lady!

bluetit said...

i love your ring , beautiful work
for the article, its the same thing in France ;-(
try not to think about it and take a good time
kisses from burgundy

butterfly said...

It is a changing world , I agree with you on some things , we were taught to consider others but hey that has gone out of the window today .
I do feel sorry for the young ones life is not always easy for them , they don't have the freedom that we had.
And here in the UK they are pushed from day one they even want them to start scool at two ! soon.
If they are slow in learning they are left , and I think thats where they go wrong , they just needed some help and encouragement for a better life.
There are a few that will never change.
They have allot more than we ever did and I don't think that helps.
They will learn in time but sadly to late for a few.
I think in this mad world we are short of love and time to give to others.

Your Sampler is looking great .hugs.

Marilyn said...

LOL, my husband has a shirt with that saying on it. Too funny.
I too think it's the way the world is changing.
I was also brought up with respect and manners, things you don't see too much these days.
I was behind an older man in the car the other day. He drove with his foot on the brake oh, maybe for about 3 miles, then when he approached the stop sign, he took his foot off the brake and coasted through the stop sign. I just kept saying what the blankety-blank is that?????

Chris said...

I think that the frustration comes from changes in society. Why bad behavior is allowed, why are people so rude and self centered. Following the rules and working hard are not rewarded anymore and it becomes apparent when you see some of the situations that you described. It is so discouraging.
I like your start on the BBD piece.
Your original ring is lovely but you need to get the diamond reset and wear it!

Stacey at Fearn Abbey Needleworks said...

My husband and I have said similar things about life, and people, and the way things seem to be going, so many times. It's like you took the words right out of my mouth! It's not just you. It's sad and scary, really. The result of actually being deluded into thinking the universe really does revolve around me me me, and I'm entitled to everything I want, regardless of the consequences. Anyway... hang in there. And the sampler is looking beautiful!

msmartello said...

I am so glad there are others out there that can't tolerate most people as much as me. As I get older they bother me more and more. I figured it is because so many people are lacking common sense and I have zero tolerance for that. The older I get I am going to have to not leave my house. LOL! Thanks for opening my eyes to the fact that I am not alone.

Jean Bee said...

I hope you decide to keep your engagement ring. It's really pretty and I think you may regret it if you get rid of it.

I hate to say I "enjoy" your issues but I do love your blog and how you share them!

Deb~Paxton Valley Folk Art said...

Well, once again you are not alone Marly, I'm getting to the point that I can't even watch the evening news without blowing a gasket. Love the linen and colours you've chosen for your SAL and your ring is very lovely, no way to get it resized to fit you? Seems such a shame to not keep your engagement ring, but then again I'm getting overly sentimental in my old age :O)

Maggee said...

I briefly considered the SAL, then decided against it. I am in a few right now, tho they are not timed...I do not enjoy deadlines. I also saw those four-sided stitches and the over-one--forget about it!! Personally, I think the latest generations have not had God in their lives, and that makes a BIG difference. All your commenters saying they were raised with responsibility and manners--that was taught to us in relation to the basic tenets of our many faiths, which of course were based on the Bible and God. It is very sad that this has changed. There are MANY MANY lost people out there...We have to pray for the world.

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