Aug 31, 2017

Conflicted

past tense of conflict: conflicted; past participle: conflicted
kənˈflikt,ˈkänˌflikt/
  1. be incompatible or at variance; clash, vary, be at odds, in conflict, differ, disagree, contrast, collide
  2. having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings
That's me.  About everything it seems.  I don't know if the menomoods are over and I am back to what I used to be (was I always confused?), or if this is the final phase.  I can't remember what I used to be, this ride started so long ago there may be no going back!  My once coarse hair is now so fine I can barely see it lying on the counter.  It used to look like 20 gauge wire.  Oh well.
 
Today's conflict was whether I should stitch tiny ornaments for one of my Christmas trees, or not.  I have been leaving them bare, like the look.  After searching a few sites for very small and simple designs, my cart is still empty.  Didn't find any alphabet blocks that I liked, not very primitive.  So what if I used a coarse linen and just stitched a single large letter on each in rice or eyelet, maybe with a sprig of holly, completing the alphabet?  Sounded good.  Then I decided against that and thought I should stitch Mary Monier.  Back to the ornaments.  And then I ate a watermelon.  Really.  So how long will the conflict last?  Indecision has been life for quite some time, but this feels different.
 
I also had two hissy fits today.  One was because I saw a young man at the grocery store with a t-shirt that I don't feel is appropriate in a very large store at a plaza filled with shoppers.  It's available on Amazon and in very large block letters states "HIGH as F***".  Reeked of marijuana.  A volunteer working with my nephew OD'd the same day at 24, another gone.  She started with alcohol, then included weed, finally added needles to her demise.  Free speech or not, show a little respect in public and stay out of your damn car when you're stoned.  Another young life was lost two weeks ago in an auto accident caused by a stoned driver.

Then I find out that my friend's friend on Medicaid and food stamps, just paid $75000 cash for a new house and $5000 for the furnishings.  I thought the agencies check your assets and resources.  Obviously, they are stoned too.  But if she has her assets under a relative's name, they would not find it.  I know too many people that have to fight like hell for help they truly need and get very little, and too many that don't need help and get way too much. 

My husband is on his way back from a good doctor visit, and stopping to buy another watermelon for me.  That's about as plant-based as I get.

Have a good one.

***********************

12 comments:

3millplainrd said...

I agree with you totally. Our society is becoming so uncivil. I don't like hearing the
"F" word when I'm shopping at Walmart or wherever. I remember when men didn't use foul language in front of women and I'm not that old. Also, even if the scammer had a relative holding that money, the relative or whoever would have it showing in a bank account, wouldn't they? and have to claim it on taxes? I can't imagine they felt safe having that kind of cash laying around, but I agree, they scammed us somehow. They have ways of getting around rules that we can't even think of. And I used to be a Social Worker!

Edna D said...

I don't like incivility either and what ever happened to manners? I live in the south, once the bastion of manners and civility, so it really hurts to see the rudeness. I know it was going a little overboard to say "excuse me" when somebody ran into me but that is what we did. I have come to the conclusion our problems started when the parents of my daughters' friends wanted to be called by their first names. Whatever happened to Mr. & Mrs.?

There is something I have always wanted to do to a small tree but I always wait until the last minute so I never have the time. I think that the printed thread cards like the ones sold by Sajou would look great as ornaments with a light coating of vintage mica flakes glued on them. I have the cards and the vintage mica I purchased from Blumchen so there is nothing holding me back but procrastination.

Heritage Hall said...

Alas, the book of Proverbs is no longer read or used to point the way to civility
and respect. It was a given that with the legalization of the weed, the downhill
sweep had begun...it rarely ends there... On a lighter note, your use of watermelon
as a plant based regimen had me in stitches... Your head is very on straight despite
the conflict......

Mary said...

I also remember when men would never swear in front of women, now! Women swear ! I myself do not swear, to me hell, damn and s@#t are swearing. I probably say hell a lot! My children were allowed to say schizen...that was all. Actually I say schizen too every time I drop something. I came from a home where there was no swearing at all, just not done. For all the advances in the world sometimes I long for the old one. I am still Mrs to a couple of my children's friend and they are 40 years old. Nice.

Vickie said...

Yes. The swearing and lack of respect in public is disgusting. All of my children's friends call us Mr. and Mrs. and those kids are in their early twenties. We do not ever swear, and I have never heard one of our three young adult children swear.
Now I know how people are making out on Social Security!! I had wondered and wondered for years! I applied for it three times and was denied because of my SI joint (hip disability), which is REAL!!! My left leg and foot are completely numb today. Not to mention my daily migraines for over a year and a half now. Whatever. We just now accept that we don't have much money. Some people are scamming the government and really do not deserve the money.

Ann at Beadlework. said...

Oh my, don't get me started on benefits - I live in the UK and it's a joke over here how people milk the system. I enjoyed reading your post and could relate to so much of it:-)

Rugs and Pugs said...

It's sad how many people know how to use the system. My tax dollars hard at work giving people free cell phones, air conditioners, help with utilities and God only know what else. Pi**es me off!!!
Lauren

celkalee said...

How things have changed. I would never, ever have called adult by their first name, used swear words, cheated anyone or withheld comfort and support for a person in distress. It was a different time, a different culture, a different world.

Fortunately, we are seeing many acts of kindness related to the disaster in Huston. If one chooses to use drugs, the consequences are your own. While addiction is most certainly a disease the choice to experiment is your own. The choice to continue may or may not be a reflection of your efforts, it might be too late. (I have worked in hospitals where drug use/abuse was frequently a secondary diagnosis.) If you wear vulgar sayings on your clothing, you only help the rest of us know what an idiot you are without investing time or resources to get to know you. Life eventually complicates our efforts.

I will now go cut a slice of a charming little peach tart that I made for tea this afternoon. If there is any left. I need to move faster!

donnacrafts said...

Why don't you stitch one motif from your patterns and past finished projects for ornaments?

We have the same problems here in TN. I try not to pay attention. It's terrible though.

Theresa Laboda said...

So much sadness in Texas and the wildfires in the west. Statues being torn down that are the history of this country, so many lives lost to drugs. I grew up in the 50's and 60's. How I long to have those days of sanity back. I wish my Grandkids could grow up in the world that I did.
I love watermelon too, hate to summer end.

C. M. Designs said...

Praying for our country, the folks in Texas and the young ones growing up now days.
Don't know it will all end.
Seems like there is no modesty, morals, language barriers or respect with some of the younger generation. Thank God there are a few good ones !
I'm happy that I don't have Grandchildren to grow up in the world the way it is now.
I like your ideas for small ornaments for your tree. Have to think about happy things in between the misery.
Glad Mark had a good doctor visit.
Take care and have a good weekend.
I will be sitting and waiting for my car to be fixed for the second day in a row. Incompetence in that place !
Charlotte in Va.

Carol said...

I hate, hate, hate hearing bad language in public!! If you must say it--do so at home. I mean, really, there is no such thing as good manners these days. The other day we were out to lunch and this woman at the next table started a rant filled with expletives. Boy, did she get the evil eye from me. She toned it down, but if kids had been around, I would have confronted her. Just hate that they are exposed to such crap on television, the internet, and in public. It's very tough time to be raising kids these days... Glad my three are all grown (and I have never heard them swear in front of me even though I'm sure they do in private!)

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