Nov 27, 2019


I used to!  A lot.  Being the only female in the all male accounting department back in the early 70's, I decided to start swearing like a fiend and smoking like a chimney to fit in.  That continued until 20 or so years ago.  Well, not the swearing.  As long as I stay calm and dry, we're OK.  Unless I am bewildered, astonished, surprised, shocked, inept, run into a mannequin, bang into a pole that should not be there, tip over a display, or any number of things.  Then all bets are off.  Hypnosis liberated me from cigarettes, not sure it would help with the mouth problem.  It's not difficult to restrict my vocabulary in front of family because most visits are pleasant and do not trigger the tongue.  I never used profanity around my parents and was uncomfortable if a movie we were watching contained that fricking word.  In private, at home, let it fly.  But restaurants and stores are not the place.  Unless you run into a mannequin, bang into a pole that shouldn't be there, tip over a display.

The smoking today is widespread.  Every room on the first floor.  I always start the turkey at 450 degrees for 15 minutes and then turn it down.  This time, I did not heat the pan before adding the bird and we are smoking.  Big time.  Nothing like having ear piercing alarms go off (that falls under "surprised") and cats scatter while you try to turn the damn things off and can't (that falls under "inept").  Needless to say, that spew made the dead bird roll over in his pan.

The boys were peaceful until then.  I've been close enough to old man Bud to know that Nitzy's position is not a good one.

So before I start the pies, I thought it best to relax a little with two of my favorites.  Vanilla Birch candle and Nutella, and what Coni calls a cup of "damn good".  What could possibly go wrong?  Probably a bird flying in the open windows to get rid of the smoke, the brats chasing it throughout the house, creating another spew.

Happy Thanksgiving!!



Heritage Hall said...

About the just may have some sailor DNA I am praying
your pain is eased during this week so that you can relax and enjoy the Thanksgiving festivities. Bet you that smoking turkey will turn out to be one of the best ever..go know. May you and your be blessed with good health and well being
over the holydays. Have another cup of damned good, you've earned it.

capecodgirl565 said...

Glad I am not the only member of the woman with sailor mouth club! I too try, sometimes in vain, to curb it in public, but the element of surprise will bring it out in me for sure. A few Christmases ago, we built a lovely fire in the fireplace in anticipation of everyone arriving, at which point, the wind retrograded or something and backed up all the smoke into the house. At this point my husband is carrying out burning logs with welding gloves and despite the sub zero temps, every window in the house is open with a very stiff breeze, so a smoking house isn't new to me either! Just wished at that time I had a few hams on hand that needed smoking. I hope you have a most wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving, you definitely keep me laughing friend!

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahaha! You are better than the late night comedians BY FAR! Thanks for the daily soap opera updates, wishing you and yours a wonderful, peaceful and blessed Thanksgiving!

Barb said...

I hope you do have a great Thanksgiving. I don't think I ever heard my Mom swear And my Dad not any really bad stuff. I am not as good!

JustGail said...

I used to smoke - it took many "I quit" rounds to kick that. I still swear, although I *try* to save it for when called for. I set off the smoke alarm on TDay once, only it was with house full of people. I really should have allowed the oven to cool and clean up the mess in the bottom before cranking it up for the rolls.

C M Designs said...

Happy Thanksgiving..........Enjoy the day.
Charlotte in Va.

moosecraft said...

Both my hubby and I are ex-smokers. We both quit on the same day in 2010. Now I wonder why I ever started, because I find the whole habit so darn stinky? lol! Like trying to enjoy a car ride with the windows down and the person driving in front of you is smoking? Pee-U! ;-)
Anyways, hope your bird is tender and delicious! Happy Thanksgiving!

Mary said...

Hahahaha, I know from experience I once forgot to open the flue on the chimney. The house filled with smoke. My orange cat threw himself ( literally) at the back door to get out, ouch! He would not be one of those heroic cats that saved ME from a fire. It would be every cat for themselves. Enjoy your day I am sure it will be wonderful.

diamondc said...

Marly: You make me giggle.
I have never even tried a puff off a cigarette, I just could not bring myself to spend my allowance on them.
My three brothers and parents smoked, sadly they all died from either cancer or COPD>
I bet the kids just went nuts, my blondie just stares at the dog gone thing when it goes off.
I hope your dinner was a yummy one.
Happy Thanksgiving


Rugs and Pugs said...

Ha! I think we all smoked. I had quit for about 12 years and started again. DUMB, DUMB, DUMB. Thankfully I quit again in '05. I am like an alcoholic who can never have another drink...but mine is tobacco.
Last year, 15 minutes before a crowd was to arrive, I started a fire. Little did I know my niece's hubby had closed the flue. The entire house was filled with smoke, alarms blaring, and I had no idea why. It even blistered the paint on the mantle surround. What a disaster. It took weeks for the smell to dissipate. I feel your pain!!!

Barbara said...

LOL What a day. Here's something to try with the Nutella. If you make waffles spread Nutella on it and then cut up some fruit and eat it like a taco. They serve this at Disney World and it's to die for. We get one every time we go there. I can't tell you the calories but who gives a damn. (yes I let it fly also sometimes)

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