It's coming. It started today. I actually felt like focusing
on and completing tasks. Most weren't fulfilled, but there was a noticeable clarity at times, a cloud lifting, no panic seeping in. As if a gate was opened and now we could move forward. So different from the last ten months and I believe I heard it in Carole's voice this morning. Stronger, determined.
Tomorrow I will get my Christmas stitchery out of its plastic cave to enjoy. All the other items, back to the attic. Inside a few small trees lit, outside is as simple as other years and the way we prefer. I want to spend the time going out, browsing, touching, imagining. Between the seclusion and anxiety of 2020 and the distressful circumstance of 2021, I feel like a six year old wanting to go to Disneyland, not for the rides, but for the visual excitement. Does that make sense?
7 comments:
That is the way this Christmas is affecting me also! I have made a bucket list and even if I have to go alone, I am going! I want to see lights, decorations, festivals, and anything else I can find to bring joy to my heart. I'm 70 and not getting any younger so I need to just do it! I hope and pray that you and Carole will find that peace and joy in just being in the moment and with each other. Prayer always Marly!
Believe in Christmas miracles and magic....drink it in and enjoy. ~Robin~
It does make sense! Enjoy the visuals to the fullest. I love the colours of your home. The tree is spectacular against it.
In years past, when I was much younger, I was always questioning why my parents, in-laws, aunts, and uncles had barely enough Christmas cheer inside the home and out, so that you knew they still had the spirit but it was minimal. In their last years, not much of anything that we commonly associated with decorations. I would think "...how can you not light up the house? How can you not have a tree in every room?" So stupid was I. Now I know, now I understand. Less is better with less fuss.
Your tree is just right. My front porch decor actually changed a few years ago when I saw your vine tree standing proud in the same place. It is good, really good.
So glad some clarity has entered your life and strengthened your spirit. You deserve it.
I find my holiday decorations getting simpler and fewer as well. The slog to the attic and the unpacking/packing is less and less doable for me. Not to mention I don't care for some of the things I have, though it looks like most of those went a few years ago.
I totally understand wanting to get out and see, touch, hear, etc. Even the recluse that I normally am, I'm over going out only about every 2 weeks for supplies (no delivery services here). Tired of seeing only DH and the TV for company. Done with the only other people I see is the few minutes in the checkout line. IMHO, there's a reason lights are a huge part of winter holidays (ALL of them not just Christmas) - winter darkness royally stinks.
I'm glad you feel better, more hopeful and focused. It's been a long slog the last 10 months for you, and it wasn't just Carole. Hopefully it will continue to get better and better.
Glad to hear you have that feeling too! I was thinking that is was to me moving house and now seeing all the stuff I have that was the reason. Only some lights and a wreath at the door feels good to me this year.
Praying that you and Carole will feeling better and better from now on and all will went well in the end.
Sending prayers and lots of love to you all, Truus from Holland
I love this post, Marly! I do feel like a veil is slowly lifting for you after such a hard, hard year... Your simple decorating is so soothing to look at and just what you need right now. Hoping Carole is feeling better each day. ♥
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