We were told today's cath was cancelled by her doctor. Why?
So as I'm speaking with him on the phone for an answer, he states he did not cancel it, split second, she's gone.
She had a heart attack when we turned our back to make the call.
And they bring her back after working for 20+ minutes. So she is masked on bi-pap, aware at times, and we wait. Afraid to leave, afraid to stay.
If you want to keep taking all your meds, you get home health. If you relinquish medications and opt for palliative only, you get hospice. You cannot stay on your meds while under hospice care because the expectation is to pass peacefully, not to maintain or improve your health.
If her time is so short, I am almost sorry they didn't allow her unaware and peaceful exit to the other side. Her living will does not state DNR, but we have that in place now, she would not survive another. She is terrified, aware of her end coming. Unable to hug, watching tears roll on faces. Asking for help with a whisper through the mask, wet with her tears.
We don't know what tonight and tomorrow will bring.
*****************
33 comments:
Marly, reassure her, love her, let her know it's okay to go. I just lost my precious sister last week. I am praying for you all
May Carole be granted a peaceful passing embraced by your love and support.
Praying you strength, courage and healing. Bureaucracy is blind.
No words. Just sending love and hugs to you and Carole.
Rugs and Pugs
I am so sorry Carole is having to go through this—and you and your family, too. She knows you are with her, and that is so important. Best wishes to you all.
Oh Marly....Like Lauren, I have no words. 💔. ~Robin~
I am so sorry 💔🙏
Marly, there isn’t anything we can say to make it better. I am so sorry and praying for all of you. Cherie in WI
Marly, I am so sorry. Praying for you, Carole and family.
Marly just sending prayers for peace and comfort for yourself and Carole. It is so difficult to get any straight answers from DRs nowadays. As my hubby tells me, being a Dr is not a science as they are all just practicing.
So sad, torturous actually. Like everyone else I am so sorry.
I am so sad that this is happening to your family, be brave.
Just don't know what to say. My feelings are sad, hoping that maybe Carole could go in her sleep. She surely doesn't deserve to suffer like she is doing, nor you either. Seems like her will is to stay with you. Glad the DNR is in place. God bless her with peace.
So sorry she had to go through all that. ((((((hugs))))))
Oh so sorry. No words. Hugs to you. Janice
So sorry ... Tell her what you need to tell her...and just be there ...
Sending you all love and peace.
Hold her hand, whisper warm memories & comforting thoughts in her ear. Prayers for all of you going through this. 🙏🏻
Marly tell her you will be ok and that she needs to go see her heavenly family. I lost my husband a little over a year ago to exactly the same situation. He was gone for twenty minutes but when they allowed us in to say goodbye he had a slight heartbeat. I knew that the time down would be debilitating so I told him to go home and that I would be ok. And then he was gone, it's hard but what kind of life would they have if they had to be on machines and have no quality of life. She's been through a lot and now needs her rest. I've been praying for both of you for a long time and know that you both will have peace that surpasses all understanding in the end.
Susie K
Marly I am so very sorry ,just be there for her.
Keeping you all in my prayers. All you can do is reassure her it will be okay and love her. Thinking of you.
Keep talking to her to reassure her. My prayers are with you at this time.
Oh, Marly... I have tears in my eyes as I read this. I'm so very sorry... I hope Carole can feel your endless love and our positive thoughts and prayers. It's so difficult to say goodbye... Sending you love and courage. ♥
I am so sorry. 💔
I understand, my heart is heavy for you all, as mentioned above, talk to her, thank her for being your sister, and when it feels right to you, tell her all will be well if she is ready to go. People at this stage of life can hear you, they do understand even if they are not able to respond. 44 years of advanced nursing life taught me that this is true. You will grieve, she will be free.
Such a difficult time for both of you and Marc.
Prayers and lots of love and a big hug for you three lovely people.
Boeing there and talking like all the others are saving,will give Carole peace and comfort. 🙏👼🏻❤
So sorry you are going through this. You are doing the best you are able to do. Remember this. Hope for peace in this difficult time.
You are an amazing sister and I know this is such an agonizing time. You second guess every single thing you say and do, every decision you make. May you find peace in knowing you've done your very best. Sometimes we simply cannot do more.
Marly, you have been a stupendous sister and caregiver. You and Mark have had her back for a long time. I don't believe she would have made it through all she has gone through without you. Her journey here is at an end, you and her family are there to love her, comfort her and see her home. It is so hard to say goodbye. Jen
elle est tellement entourée d amour qu elle peut partir en paix
ma maman est partie a la suite dune crise , seule a l hopital,,,
douces pensées bisous bluetit
Hi Marly: I am so sorry Carole is going through so much with her health, please take care of you also, so you do not become ill, I hope you are spending as much time as possible with her she needs you and your love and kindness so much now.
Catherine
I am so sorry for what you and Carole are going through! God will give you the strength!
What a hard yet tender time. I had my mother move in with me when she was dying with cancer. She was scared to die so I did what I could to comfort her. I was only 38 so I thought I was much too young for her to go. We never want our loved ones to pass even if they are in a painful living condition because we can find ourselves so needy for their love. I wish you the best of love and hope for all that God gives. May the assurance of the Resurrection fill you with peace.
Ok Marly,I am so heartbroken for you! You were the BEST sister Carol could have had..I am quite sure she lived as long as she did because of you! But she is now at peace. ..a peace I hope you will find in the future.
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