Apr 23, 2016

The perilous purse

A furball with filthy paws checked out the green linen from the kit, and turned his back to it.  Shortly thereafter, that back was flying out of the room.  Will you look at those back feet!!
In another room, it seems his mother chose the dyed-by-me version and thought it was a comfortable pad to nap on.  A short time later she was napping on her sherpa in the garage. 
I chose the Sea Glass, free of cat hair.  I also chose not to grab them since the scratches have finally healed.
I haven't had a Kohl's episode of embarrassment in a while but made up for it today.  I changed from a small crossbody bag to a quite large one (of that slippery nylon) and that damn thing was sliding and circling my body like a hyped squirrel.  The bench in the footware department was taken so I opened a shoe box in the aisle, and as I started hopping on one foot while holding onto the shelves with the other, the squirrel purse slid to my front.  As I bent to put on the shoe, the looped elastic on it somehow slipped into the little slot on the squirrel bag's zipper pull which took quite a while to get out.  I shoved the purse to my side and it propelled all the way around ending up on the right side while the wide strap sunk into my throat and cut off my air.  I put the shoe box back and gave the Baggallini life form another shove and as it circled for a landing it came off my neck and slid down over both arms, ending up like an monstrous fanny pack.  Walking down the aisle trying to adjust it back to a tame crossbody, the bag from hell smacked into the open end clearance rack and knocked off several boxes, spilling the shoes.  I bent to pick them up, it slid over my arm to the front and hung from my neck like a feedsack.  I shortened the strap and used it as shoulder bag, which kept sliding off, and wanted to try a pair of comfort shoes.  With my arthritis, try as I did, I could not remove the hard form inside that holds shape. People passing saw me struggling with my hand in a shoe, grunting, making faces ... what did they think I was doing?  I'd had enough and left, remembering I parked near the light post.  That's the second time I set off a car alarm in their parking lot.  Did you know that to the untrained eye, a new Nissan Rogue looks the same from the back as a Ford Escape?   
I came home and husband asked what I had stuck on my pants.  Must have happened during the shoe department ruckus.  I'm glad it didn't have embedded security and set off an alarm. 
I know I was not posting for another week, but by then, the details of this would be forgotten or blown out of proportion.  I tried to tell my sister about my perilous purse, but she kept getting calls and putting me on hold.  So I decided to tell you.
Enjoy your weekend.
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