past tense of conflict: conflicted; past participle: conflicted
kənˈflikt,ˈkänˌflikt/
- be incompatible or at variance; clash, vary, be at odds, in conflict, differ, disagree, contrast, collide
- having or showing confused and mutually inconsistent feelings
That's me. About everything it seems. I don't know if the menomoods are over and I am back to what I used to be (was I always confused?), or if this is the final phase. I can't remember what I used to be, this ride started so long ago there may be no going back! My once coarse hair is now so fine I can barely see it lying on the counter. It used to look like 20 gauge wire. Oh well.
Today's conflict was whether I should stitch tiny ornaments for one of my Christmas trees, or not. I have been leaving them bare, like the look. After searching a few sites for very small and simple designs, my cart is still empty. Didn't find any alphabet blocks that I liked, not very primitive. So what if I used a coarse linen and just stitched a single large letter on each in rice or eyelet, maybe with a sprig of holly, completing the alphabet? Sounded good. Then I decided against that and thought I should stitch Mary Monier. Back to the ornaments. And then I ate a watermelon. Really. So how long will the conflict last? Indecision has been life for quite some time, but this feels different.
I also had two hissy fits today. One was because I saw a young man at the grocery store with a t-shirt that I don't feel is appropriate in a very large store at a plaza filled with shoppers. It's available on Amazon and in very large block letters states "HIGH as F***". Reeked of marijuana. A volunteer working with my nephew OD'd the same day at 24, another gone. She started with alcohol, then included weed, finally added needles to her demise. Free speech or not, show a little respect in public and stay out of your damn car when you're stoned. Another young life was lost two weeks ago in an auto accident caused by a stoned driver.
Then I find out that my friend's friend on Medicaid and food stamps, just paid $75000 cash for a new house and $5000 for the furnishings. I thought the agencies check your assets and resources. Obviously, they are stoned too. But if she has her assets under a relative's name, they would not find it. I know too many people that have to fight like hell for help they truly need and get very little, and too many that don't need help and get way too much.
My husband is on his way back from a good doctor visit, and stopping to buy another watermelon for me. That's about as plant-based as I get.
Have a good one.
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Then I find out that my friend's friend on Medicaid and food stamps, just paid $75000 cash for a new house and $5000 for the furnishings. I thought the agencies check your assets and resources. Obviously, they are stoned too. But if she has her assets under a relative's name, they would not find it. I know too many people that have to fight like hell for help they truly need and get very little, and too many that don't need help and get way too much.
My husband is on his way back from a good doctor visit, and stopping to buy another watermelon for me. That's about as plant-based as I get.
Have a good one.
***********************